overthinking

As caregivers, we find ourselves simultaneously impossibly busy and spending lots of time waiting around. We’re exhausted, but then we’re up all night staring at the ceiling.

What’s keeping you up these days?


All the work that needs to be done to the house. I’m in charge of finding reliable tradespeople too. I must maintain a safe environment. Always a monkey on my back. – EO

Safety of those I love. I am having difficulty with that since my husbands accident. – TW

I wanted to go home for my brother’s memorial service. It’s the first loss in our family circle. He was the youngest. – JS

How I can be a better father to my three special needs boys. I fret over it so much I get LOST in the pages of this here book cuz this is the only place in my reality I can run too without leaving my sons. I can’t leave my boys but they deserve better than a distracted overwhelmed sperm donor. They need their daddy. I feel guilty AF but I can’t stop. How do I become a better less distracted daddy? – NS

Wishing I had more happiness. Since my sons’s injury that happiness factor has disappeared–my personal happiness; my son’s happiness–the fact that my son’s friends stopped coming to visit. – DA

I’m giving birth any day now and I’m so terrified. The plans of getting my two little ones somewhere quickly is bothering me, my dogs having a place to go is bothering me, how my delivery is gonna go is really bothering me… Just so much I’m worried about. – MP

My daughter’s upcoming surgery to put a g-tube in. I’m the queen of over thinking! – DC

His next hospital stay ? The parking fee is 15$ a day! His last stay was 13 days=$165! His fixed income SSD cannot support us as it is now! I’m his 24/7 caretaker! 3 of his meds are mostly covered by NKF (kidney x 2009)! I’m not allowed an income or coverage drops! ? – RM

How do i make my house handicap assemble for my husband with no money. – SL

How I’m ever going to be able to cope with living with my Moms dog since bringing Mom to our home. I am not a dog person and it’s not going well. – JS

My husband was ill, for almost 20 years, before he passed. He needed constant care, and I was working, full time, as well as caring, for him. Two of our adult sons moved, with us, to another city, about an hour from our home town, so that we would be able to better care for him, and get him to routine dialysis and medical appointments. After my husband’s death, my sons and I stayed together, while they looked for better jobs, as we decided to stay in our new place. It was a sad, and confusing time, for us, as my husband passed, only one month after we moved here. I decided to call Dr. Laura, for advice, on how to move forward. I said, on live radio, that I was a widow, living with my adult kids, in my home. In literally, 15 seconds, she ripped me a new one, yelling at me, telling me I was the reason this country is so bad, and stated that I must not have read any of her books. She screamed, then hung up on me. My sons work, we remained together, to support each other, and I, personally couldn’t afford to live, on my own. I feel horrible and guilty, for being a rotten parent. I constantly hear that woman yelling at me. – LR

I wonder why me, being the oldest if 6 kids is the only care taker of my 85 year old mom. One is dead. One is who knows where. One is an alcoholic. The youngest 2 live 400 miles away and seen to think they are doing something great by visiting every 4 months. I’m just stinking tired. I’m nearly 65 yo. The 2 youngest are 13 and 15 years younger then me. They work, but do not have children. – DK

I tend to over think everything But right now I am overthinking what will happen to my son who happens to be disabled when my husband and I are no longer here. – CV

How I have no life and I feel selfish thinking this. Mom reared two children by herself. I should be able to take care of her and not complain. More overthinking is about how no matter how much I do for her, it is not enough. Last, what it will be like without her. – CW

Money, how am I going to pay the bills. – DA

What I need to do, clean, organize (including my to do list) as well as getting a new attorney after much $$$ was spent on one who was supposed to be the best in elder law and really did not do a good job for our family situation. – RR

EVERYTHING! Work, paying bills, auto repair, sitter service, the silly things mom does, maintaining the house and lawn, pets, shopping for necessities, taking time for a vacation, my own rest time and sleep. The list goes on, but it is overthinking about everything. Sleep. What’s that? – BG

My career and living arrangements right now. Been getting my life back together after caregiving for my mother. – AG

What to do with the house, how to get mom to go to adult day care, or how to pay for caregivers since I have nothing, how to put her in a home, or whatever… it’s endless. No decisions regarding me. Must always think about her. – GE

Everything too. I’m feeling sad that my dad was sad thinking about how my mom has passed. Seven years ago now, but to him it feels like last year. ? – LG

I survived my lower back surgery. Rehab for the next six months. Now what do I do? I can’t lift more than 10 pounds. I’ve been a CNA all my adult life. – DA

How I can earn enough to cover mom’s medical and daily expenses. How I’m probably not doing enough even if I feel I’m perpetually exhausted. – RR

If my mom passed, I would be so ashamed of this house. Hard trying to find the time to do it. Sounds shallow, but the truth. – PC

How to go to the ER alone without my dad, but still make certain he’s safe w/o risking my own health. – BS

My mom is having the longest episode of atrial flutter that she’s ever had outside a hospital. I’m monitoring her, but scared. – NL

What do I not overthink is a better question. Some days I can’t even come up with a dinner idea cause I overthink what would be easier, better, quicker. – AH

Whether or not I’ve done everything I could to prevent my mom from dying. ? – AM

What a horrible person I’ve become! ? – SG

People that are just plain selfish and care more about themselves. – LF

My future.. am I going to end up as Wal-Mart greeter cause of no job or skills in 8 yrs… lacking education and socializing. Being a caregiver is taking a toll on my health. – DB

Written by Allison Powell
I live off of food from Trader Joe's. I spend my life in a cubicle, a la Office Space. I'm kind of obsessed with the internet. Confession: I take care of people but don't identify as a caregiver.

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25 Comments

  1. If I actually slept, I would have horrible sleeping habits….

    Reply
  2. My mom has Dementia listening for her moving around , i never know when she will get up at 2am or ?

    Reply
  3. To all of us ❤️

    Reply
  4. Just taking care of mom in the end stage of alzheimer’s and my son with asperges syndrome …I’m exhausted …going on 3 to 4 hours of sleep every night…I’m ok with it though. …wouldn’t want mom anywhere else ,but here with us….

    Reply
  5. Usually the husband that I care for. He has MS, but lately is seeing and hearing things that aren’t there. At least I don’t hear or see them. Our daughter wonders if it’s dementia.

    Reply
    • Could be a medication. Tramedol sent my mom off so bad drs thought she’d had a stroke.

      Reply
    • First of all: check the medication!

      Reply
    • He has an appointment with his spinal clinic Dr. in March. He Drs thru the VA and has since he retired in 03 when his employer discontinued our insurance. He had the MS then. He is on so many meds and doesn’t usually have a problem with them. Thanks for caring!

      Reply
  6. I overthink, eat,

    Reply
  7. What used to keep me up as a caregiver was wondering what surprises the next day would bring. That, and being awakened at 3:00 a.m. by a tiny figure at the foot of our bed speaking Japanese.

    Reply
  8. I took care of my mom for the last 16 years of her life. I would get up in the middle of the night and check to see if she was still alive. I would stand at her door hoping and praying that she was still alive and i would listen to see if i could hear her breathing or see her body move. Don’t know why but i would wake up thinking she had passed on.

    Reply
  9. Why is your picture on the page blank?

    Reply
  10. Saving money for a really good holiday 🙂

    Reply
  11. Who will take care of my mom if something happens to me. We have no other family.

    Reply
  12. My husband he is not good so I have to help him with a lot. He has cancer, Parkinson and diabetes, but the cancer is what is getting him its getting close

    Reply
  13. Money. Will there be enough. Will Medicaid be approved. Will I be able to maintain this pace, caring for my Dad, my own home and working 55 hours a week.

    Reply
  14. Back to the REAL Question, never getting a full night sleep , my mom gets up sometimes and is confused about where she is!

    Reply
  15. Wow, I didn’t think this Sight was for potus Bashing! DISTURBING!!

    Reply
    • Julie Pauley Nazi spelling police wow thanks

      Reply
  16. Wait a couple years, now that Captain SH*TSTAIN has sentenced so many impoverished people to certain death by F’ing up their health insurance. Just. Wait. You will watch, helplessly, as medical care is denied because you just can’t pay for it on your own.

    Reply

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