The road of a family caregiver

We aren’t trying to be noble or trying to be Martyrs here…

We are doing what needs be done…

We do it out of love…I have yet to see a real portrayal of what caregiving is really like…

The one thing we do know is how to take care of ourselves…

It’s not always easy… In a perfect world maybe there would be “family meetings” with good outcomes… The reality is, that’s not what happens…

Every single caregiver is walking a different road… As much as we are the same, we are different…

We do need to have these conversations because there are six million of us here in the United States right now and the numbers are growing…

But I don’t think we are going to help matters by attacking the caregivers and what they know or don’t know or do or not do for themselves…

We need more programs that offer real help and not just more telephone numbers that direct you to other telephone numbers and eventually a dead end.

I don’t know the answers, and I try to share valuable information I have stumbled upon… But there are always new family’s getting thrown into this chaos on a daily basis.

From the moment you end up in the ER with a loved one and it becomes the beginning of your journey as a caregiver it’s overwhelming and everyone is too busy to give you any real answers…

From then on, it’s pretty much figuring things out on your own.

No matter how prepared you think you might be, nothing is going to go according to plan…

Just know this… We six million caregivers that are out in the trenches as we speak, have some valuable information…

We should be asking them how they do it…

Bless each and everyone

Take care,
Theresa Loder

via Facebook

Image: Elena Dijour /

Written by Guest Author
The Caregiver Space accepts contributions from experts for The Caregiver's Toolbox and provides a platform for all caregivers in Caregiver Stories. Please read our author guidelines for more information and use our contact form to submit guest articles.

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  1. We were able to get in 2 vacations before Mom needed more and more care. We’ve been together 7 years. Everyone deserves and NEEDS respite time.

  2. I know I tire of people at church telling me there is a crown for me in heaven. I am NOT doing 24/7 for that reason. I am sure it is pleasing to God that I am living my vows of 42 years and I am sure that he knows I am tired. I have been doing this for my husband for 8 years and longer but not as a 24/7 caregiver. He has advanced pd and requires more than I have at times but I would do whatever I have to do. I wish those that could help would walk the walk that they talk! When someone whines about wanting another vacation or trip to the beach, I want to scream but I just carry the weight, as always. I have NOT had a day off or a vacation in 8 years.

  3. This is right on the money! Everyone’s situation/circumstance/journey is unique. I tend to look at our family as, since the car accident that caused my son’s injuries 8 years ago (his friend fell asleep at the wheel), I’ve left my full time office job to become a ‘stay at home Mom’ again. I try to keep life as ‘normal’ as possible, take him on as many outings as we can manage, and also absolutely savor those times when I can leave the house by myself, with my husband to take over the caregiving duties. What I wish we could do more often would be ‘date nights’ with my husband… Dinner, maybe a movie, and the occasional overnight stay at a nice hotel… Our 4 daughters have told us they’ll stay with our son for those things, but their lives are very busy with children and jobs… One day…


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