The ‘grief window’ and other myths…

I’m 37-years-old now and I can see that was as impossible as raising my mum from the ground (or, more accurately, gathering up her ashes and gluing her whole again.) Would I go back and tell the younger version of myself to stop seeking a happiness she was never going to achieve? No. Because I was seeking happiness. I’d only want to tell her to surrender herself to grief. To stop trying to will the grieving process to be ‘over.’ I wanted to go back to ‘normal’ and I hated myself for not achieving that. But the girl above was gone. My grief will never be over.

Read more in Crocuses in the Snow.

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