The “Chosen Family” Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up to Be
queer couple on a zoom call with a friend, they're sitting in bed, wearing matching rainbow heart socks

I was in my twenties the first time I heard the concept of the “chosen family,” and it’s hard to overstate how much it resonated with me.

Sure, the concept of the chosen family has been great for the privileged class, and the young and attractive — people who have the money or connections to shield themselves from the brutalities of life. Now they have even more resources to focus on themselves and their own personal happiness.

But what about the elderly? The disabled and the neurodiverse? Addicts? The misfits and oddballs? And children? When chosen families go mainstream, and everyone is picking and choosing their “family” members, what happens to the folks who take more than they give? Are they simply on their own — the responsibility of an impersonal government?

It also must be said: despite having been treated so poorly by “family,” many LGBTQ people — and women — do the lion’s share of caring for elderly parents. Ironic much?

Read more on Brent and Michael are Going Places.

Written by External Article
Everyone is talking about caregiving, but it can still be difficult to find meaningful information and real stories that go deep. We read (and listen to and watch and look at) the best content about caregiving and bring you a curated selection. Have a great story about caregiving? Use our contact form to submit it to us so we can share it with the community!

Related Articles

The Partner Who Dies First, Wins

The Partner Who Dies First, Wins

Herb is my best friend, 83, a humor writer who’s had slow-moving Parkinsons for ten years. When I had breast, then ovarian, cancer over thirty years...

Popular categories

After Caregiving
Finding Meaning
Finding Support

Don't see what you're looking for? Search the library

Share your thoughts


Share your thoughts and experiences

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Join our communities

Whenever you want to talk, there’s always someone up in one of our Facebook communities.

These private Facebook groups are a space for support and encouragement — or getting it off your chest.

Join our newsletter

Thoughts on care work from Cori, our director, that hit your inbox each Monday morning (more-or-less).

There are no grand solutions, but there are countless little ways to make our lives better.

Share your insights

Caregivers have wisdom and experience to share. Researchers, product developers, and members of the media are eager to understand the nature of care work and make a difference.

We have a group specifically to connect you so we can bring about change.