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Toxic Family Systems: Caring for the Abuser

Toxic Family Systems: Caring for the Abuser

by External Article | Sep 25, 2018 | Care Work Library, Caring for a Parent | 0 comments

The sense of obligation and loyalty to dysfunctional family structures is a difficult thing to address when it feels like it’s rooted bone-deep in our values. As a therapist, I always start a line of questioning there: are these actually YOUR values, or are these...
Living in the Aftershock of Someone Else’s Earthquake

Living in the Aftershock of Someone Else’s Earthquake

by External Article | Nov 10, 2017 | After Caregiving, Care Work Library, Caring for a Parent, Generation X, Grief, Long Term Caregiving | 0 comments

I see my mother as a woman whose life had been bottlenecked by pain. First, her trauma was unresolved. Then it became stagnant, then rotten, then completely toxic, eventually destroying her body, just like it had her mind. Her sadness grew bigger and she got smaller...
The Undeserving Parent

The Undeserving Parent

by External Article | Oct 20, 2011 | Care Work Library, Caring for a Parent | 0 comments

[Her mother] hit Wendy when she was a teenager who stumbled at night and awakened her. She hit Wendy when she was a bride-to-be trying on wedding gowns. “To this day, when she hears something she doesn’t like, she still says, ‘I’ll smack you,’” Wendy told me in an...
They can’t go home again

They can’t go home again

by External Article | Dec 1, 2010 | Care Work Library, Caring for a Parent | 0 comments

Few subjects generate as much contention and heartache hereabouts as siblings and the role they play, or don’t play, in caring for aging parents. Which led me to wonder: What about those absent children? What’s the view from their side of the divide? In Ms. Barnes’s...

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