For a dozen years, Larry Bocchiere, 68, didn’t find it especially difficult to care for his wife, Deborah, who struggled with breathing problems. But as her illness took a downward turn, he became overwhelmed by stress. “I was constantly on guard for any change in her...
I need to wash my hair And take a shower But here I sit Enjoying this quiet hour I need to put up Meds And tidy up the room But I cherish this time To just be me There will be plenty to do Very soon Right now I float In this peaceful place My mind has brought me to...
In 2014, I married my love, Rebekah. I was 35 and she, 25. Seven months later, my dad was diagnosed with stage four stomach cancer. Two months after that, at the age of 26, my new wife was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. One oncologist, the first one we...
Sometimes, when the darkness comes and you feel your world crumbling down around you, a sliver of light makes its way through the cracks of your life. The past month has been a huge struggle for me and my husband. Not only has he seemed to have gotten noticeably...
Last year at this time my husband knew who I was. He could recognize our sons, even if he mixed up their names. By spring he was still walking, talking, knowing us, and (mostly) going to the bathroom on his own. Sure, you could see the dementia creeping in. Sometimes...
I have a secret: I don’t think caregiving is rewarding. I also don’t think I’m alone. I’m supposed to talk about how this is what God decided I should do. How much I love my husband and cherish my vow to him. How I live to make him happy. And...
I made a vow to love my husband in sickness and health and I’m doing my best to honor that vow. It’s taking everything I have out of me. Every day I get up and do all the things that need to be done. Including taking care of my husband. I expected the...
You used to see him quite often at the social club events. He’d usually sit at the end of the table, listening to the conversation but rarely making a comment, he looked tired and there was always an aura of sadness about him. You glance his way and wonder why...
A few weeks ago, I was at the beach and I saw a young woman walking with her two little boys and her husband. Her husband was disabled, walking with a cane and appearing to have lost some muscle function in his arms and legs. I keep thinking about the woman and what...
What keeps me going, and it is the hardest task I have ever had, is knowing that true love is rare. Deb and I met in 1984 when she was 28 and I was 33. We married a few months later. We had both had prior marriages and were blending families of 2 kids each. We knew it...
What’s your life really like? So many caregivers are out there feeling like no one understands what they’re going through…but we suspect quite a few of you are going through similar things. February 3rd marked a year since my husband passed away....
Florida woman experiences the ultimate heartbreak after she tries to sell her wedding ring When Megan Starich showed up to exchange her treasured wedding ring for several thousand dollars, she thought she had done everything right. The Florida woman decided to sell...
Yes, we both said our vows. But how many of us break them? Most of us, at one point or another. Would he do this if our roles were reversed? Absolutely not. He’d be out of here in a minute. He was cheating on me when his spine was crushed in a car accident. I...
Caregivers and care receivers may be about the same age. This is especially true if a wife is caring for her husband, or a husband is caring for his wife. While the caregiver is tending to the needs of another, she or he may develop their own health problems. You may...
I am my husband’s primary caregiver. Although a paid caregiver comes each morning to get him up, I’m the person on the job day and night. A while ago my husband was hospitalized for pneumonia and he spent three and a half days in the hospital. Shortly after he came...
Pamela Nelson is an artist living in Dallas, working in painting, mixed media, and public art installations. Pamela has exhibited in over 100 national venues, including the Dallas Museum of Art, Austin Museum of Art, Arkansas Art Center in Little Rock, Beaumont Museum...
My husband is disabled and requires more assistance than some care receivers. More assistance means more requests. I’ve been his caregiver for two years and, as the months passed, realized I was being interrupted constantly. When I was doing laundry, or preparing...
Author Harriet Hodgson offers guidance for family caregivers in her new book “The Family Caregiver’s Guide” Rochester, MN- Becoming the primary caregiver for a family member can be a daunting and exhausting task, but readers can find comfort, guidance, and help in...
My husband’s aorta dissected in 2013 and he was rapidly bleeding to death. The health care team gave him transfusion after transfusion, to no avail. Surgeons operated on him three times in an attempt to stop the bleeding. During the third operation he had a spinal...
Two years ago my husband’s aorta dissected. He was literally bleeding to death and Mayo Clinic surgeons operated on him three times in a desperate attempt to save his life. During the third operation my husband had a spinal stroke that paralyzed his legs. The surgeons...
Caregiving generates a variety of feelings. When doctors told me my husband’s legs were paralyzed and I became his caregiver, I felt fear. What supplies did I need? Did I have the physical strength to care for him? Where would we live? My fear turned to worry as our...
In general, spousal care is very challenging and brings a very complex set of emotions to bear. Sometimes when my wife Annie refused to cooperate, which she did at times, I found myself feeling frustrated, ticked off a bit, and sad, all at the same time. Those were...
Headaches & facial pain caused by emotional distress Case Study: Joan* Joan was referred to my office due to her daily headaches and facial pain that had continued to get worse despite taking over-the-counter medication on a daily basis and treating herself to a...
February 13, 2014. The day I became a caregiver. That was the day Jeff came home following nearly seven months spent in three hospitals after his spinal cord injury. Of course I had been preparing for my role of caregiver for months. The nurses, therapists, and staff...
My husband was in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) of the hospital. He had been there for three weeks, anesthetized, hooked up to monitors, unaware of his condition or what was going on in life. His “wound,” as the medical team called it, was a giant surgical scar that...
In the summer of 2007, my wife Annie started suffering from fatigue and pain in her legs. In the evenings before we went to bed, I would sit on one end of our couch and she would lay down with her head at the opposite end stretching her legs out so I could massage...
Living in a household affected by chronic illness is challenging, stressful, frustrating, and sometimes next to impossible. It often feels like a jail sentence from which there is no escape. But over the past almost seven years, my family has experienced amazing...
Sometimes I can’t believe my husband is paralyzed. Most of the time I can. I’ve gotten fairly used to this life in the relatively short amount of time we’ve lived it. How we have to expect the unexpected. How we can’t just hop in the car on a whim anymore. Our old...
My experience with hospitals and serious illnesses was limited: You go to the hospital to deliver a baby, stay there a few days and go home with your beautiful gift; you break an ankle, you break a knee cap or damage internal organs from a fall. You go to the ER,...
by Bob Harrison, author of Because of Annie Many of you know Bob from our Communities and Facebook page. He has generously agreed to share excerpts of his deeply moving book, Because of Annie, with the community. In this chapter, Bob recalls the experience of starting...
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