Needing Each Other is Human
If your relationship is making both of you happier, then why is it wrong to need each other? How did independence become the mark of a “healthy” human, when our species literally only got this far through social cooperation? My brother has higher support needs than me...
When My Wife Developed Alzheimer’s, the Story of Our Marriage Kept Us Connected
In December 2012, at age sixty-one, Judy received a diagnosis of early onset Alzheimer’s. The news was deeply distressing, igniting within me a burning anxiety over how I, a wheelchair user born with a spinal cord malformation and living with bunches of body parts...
Helping is Making Me Feel Helpless
Have you ever felt helpless trying to help a loved one? We know the stories: the alcoholic mother/brother/friend who keeps getting in trouble. The father who has been borrowing money from his adult children with the intent to pay it back but never following through....
(Don’t) Fear the Feeding Tube
Whenever a parent murders their disabled child, the narrative is always the same: Those poor parents, under so much stress, having to care for someone who couldn’t care for themselves. When describing the murdered child, there’s usually the same litany of physical...
What living with food intolerance taught me about dependence
For the last eight months, I haven’t had a job. But my husband continues to do his share of the housework. We don’t have a schedule or count pennies. I do some cooking and most of the laundry when I’m feeling well; when I’m not, I stay in bed and become depressed and...The Noose
In November of 2007, I returned to the workforce after staying home with my three kids for ten years. My youngest child was in Kindergarten, and I needed something beyond the mommy and household stuff. I also wanted to start contributing financially. We had decided to...
Deb Katz on Sharing the “Unshareable” in Caregiving
“In the Valley of the Shadow: A Manual for the Left Behind,” voices all of the thoughts and feelings that arise during caregiving, ones that most of us are too ashamed or afraid to admit.
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