Poet Tracy K. Smith On Grief In The Holidays And ‘Different Vocabularies For Feeling’
When I was a kid, I watched the winter holidays shift for my family after my mother died. And this year, in the middle of the coronavirus pandemic, I lost an uncle, and not being able to gather with family to mourn him because of COVID-19 restrictions has given me new...
My Mom’s Cancer Diagnosis Changed My Perspective On Growing Up
What’s it like to be 31 and moving home with your parents? What happens when that temporary move becomes more permanent after your mom is diagnosed with cancer? Once I moved in, every day was filled with so much overwhelming uncertainty that I immediately turned...
The Surviving Spouse’s Guide to Surviving a Hallmark Holiday
This will be my second Valentine’s Day without Tim, my love of 12 years. Red jelly hearts cling to a window framing the fringed mid-February landscape. The heart-shaped décor that adorns supermarket entrances and doctor’s waiting rooms are a reminder of the heart...
I’m My Husband’s Caregiver and I’m Grieving
In 2013 the connection between my husband’s Dacron descending aorta and the real aorta failed. His health care team kept giving him transfusions but couldn’t keep pace with the blood loss. John was bleeding to death. He had three emergency operations and, during the...
Mari Andrew on grief
If you’re on Instagram, you may have already discovered Mari Andrew. If not, she’s an amazing artist who captures grief (and so many other aspects of being human). Here are some of my favorites: View this post on Instagram A post shared by Mari Andrew...
Stop telling me to be grateful I’m a caregiver
When people find out I take care of my mom, a certain percentage of people tell me how lucky I am that I still have my mom. How I should cherish every moment. Sure, it’s hard now, but they’d give anything for just one more day. These people are assholes....
Missing the hard days
I never would have imagined that I’d be nostalgic for the worst days of my life. In my husband’s sickest days I just kept moving. The easiest moments were when I was on auto-pilot. Just keep going. Do what needs to be done. Check check check. When I wanted...
Facebook, Grief, Loneliness, and “The Little Red Light”
There’s no way, I could ever talk about my wife’s Annie’s journey through cancer, or my loss, on Facebook. The platform was so wrong for a brokenhearted man. And rightfully so. It’s a big part of the social media industry, where people go to...
A community forged by loss and love – and photographs that found joy at the end of life
The emails poured in by the dozen, day after day after day. They came from parents and children, from violin makers and doctors, from sisters, husbands, colleagues, teachers. Some were spare, just a line or two. Others went on for pages, full of emotion. I read them...
The End of Regret
Unfortunately for many of us, the pain of losing somebody we love, or people we have had a mixed relationship with, can be made worse by the presence of regrets. Mourners can be left struggling with thoughts like, “What could I have done differently?” “I wish I had...
Living while knowing my son has a fatal disease
“Nothing can prepare you for the loss of your child” I’m positive that this is true. I’ve heard these words from so many parents who have lost their children. Even though I haven’t experienced this loss personally I know with everything...
Grief and loneliness, precious dreams
When we lose a loved one, what is it we want most. In my cases, I kept saying over and over, “I want her back,” “I just want her back!” Well, unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. As I found, as did many before me, death is so final....
Grief, Loneliness and the Coke machine
Over the past few years I’ve written thousands of words on grief and loneliness. Sadly, I have to say, I’ve never came up with a solution, but instead, ways to cope. There are things we can do to help ourselves out, if only for a few moments or hours at a...
Where Grief Takes Us: A Caregiver’s Journey Living with Loss
Somehow I knew I had to walk through that grief. I couldn’t work it away, or ignore it, or pretend it wasn’t there.
Have Courage and Be Kind
“Have courage and be kind” is one of those wonderfully memorable movie quotes to live by that is so simple yet so profound. In the 2015 action version of the Disney film, Cinderella receives this advice from her dying mother. Have courage and be kind Click To Tweet...
Embracing creativity as a caregiver
The last thing you may feel like doing when you are actively caregiving is engaging that creative spark. Heck, if you were creative before caregiving, you may believe that your creative fire has been extinguished forever. Be open to opportunities for expression during...
Grief: loneliness, some things aren’t meant to be
Five years post Annie’s death, I still can’t accept what I know I must. The loneliness just hangs around me like a fog. Although the darkness has subsided, I feel like I’ve been wandering in overcast skies now, for what seems like an eternity. And...
Grief: imagination & the truth
Tonight I was looking through my cell phone family text messages and noticed something I guess I always knew, but had never given much thought. There is not one message of any sort on my cell from my beloved Annie. It appears that I’m searching for memories from...
Grief: time stands still
One of the most painful experiences a loving caregiver will ever witness, is the dreaded moment when time stands still, and a loved one slips away in front of your eyes. Sadly, there’s nothing you can do to comfort the burden of your pain. It’s there,...
The adventure of grief
Psychologist, writer and innovator, Geoff Warburton has spent the last 25 years studying love and loss. Geoff challenges conventional apathy about grief and loss by offering an approach that evokes curiosity, openness and compassion. His approach synthesises Eastern...
How to comfort a grieving teen
Bridget Park is a high school senior from Reno, Nevada. Inspired by the tragic loss of her brother, Bridget wrote her debut memoir at the age of 15 in the hopes that her story would encourage others to find healthy ways of grieving. In this talk, Bridget shares her...
My journey of dealing with grief
Simon works for a local support charity in Derby that helps other charities to form and grow. He delivers training, workshops and talks in schools and out in the community about volunteering and he also manages a community reporting project. Since Annabel’s...
Sharing love and grief
After the last episode of The Kitchen Widow, my daughter came to me with an idea and a request. She wanted to honor her dad and share HER wisdom. Cooking is her way of remembering and she has some advice for other grieving kids. Together, we brainstormed and she...
Good grief! What I learned from loss
This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences. There is power in grieving intentionally and purposefully. Telling her own story of loss, Elaine Mansfield explains the use of ritual as a tool for empowerment for life’s most...
What 40 steps taught me about love and grief
When I took the stage last spring to share insights on love, caregiving and loss, my deepest desire was to stand in the truth of what I know. I hoped to communicate the universal need for unconditional love and connection in our daily lives. It was brave, bold and...
Caregiver, grief, and a million tears
If a Genie popped out of Aladdin’s lamp and I had but one wish, I would not want fortune or fame, nor any of the luxuries life has to offer. My wish would be simple and from my heart. “In my lifetime, never again would I have to experience the loss of...
What it’s like to lose a family member: 5 people tell their story
When caregiving feels like dad and me vs. the hospital
Every step in the recovery process was delicate and had a potential setback, every remedy had a potential side effect.
Grief: emotional suicide
After the death, we enter the very new and complex world of grief. We’re grievers! With the understanding that we all grieve differently, there is one thing for certain. Some, as was my case, will grieve much deeper than others. And therein lies a problem. Many...Top Posts
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