Director Stacy Title Is Racing Against ALS to Make Her Final Movie
There were times, he admitted, that it seemed as if “I could be a chimp or a robot, as long as I get the Towel back in there fast enough. I just want a Stacy who’s not so subsumed by sickness and anxiety that she can’t even consider what her husband is saying. Should...
I’m My Husband’s Caregiver and I’m Grieving
In 2013 the connection between my husband’s Dacron descending aorta and the real aorta failed. His health care team kept giving him transfusions but couldn’t keep pace with the blood loss. John was bleeding to death. He had three emergency operations and, during the...
Moving on, with Claire Bidwell Smith
Why do so many of us feel guilty after the death of a loved one? A writer is overcome with guilt for causing her mom’s death — and suspects her dad blames her, too. She fell while walking the writer’s dog and broke her hip. A year later, she died of...
Grieving the Living: My Dad’s Six Years With Dementia
I grieved for my dad’s shrinking skill set. He hardly seemed to notice. Even as the disease took hold, my father, always someone who had systems in place, tried to outsmart it. About a year post-diagnosis, I found an enormous stack of notecards listing names of people...
The Long Goodbye: Coping With Sadness And Grief Before A Loved One Dies
For years before her death at age 96, Nancy Lundebjerg’s mother underwent a long, slow decline. Arthritis made it hard for Margaret Lundebjerg to get around. After two hip surgeries, she needed a walker when she was out and about. Incontinence was a source of...
What does it feel like to be me?
What does it feel like to be me? The first word to come to mind is “full”. Frustrated is a close second. My 91yr. old mother has lived with me for six years. Her dementia has stolen her reasoning, memory, logic and ability to track what I’m saying....
It’s Normal for Things to be Shitty
Once upon a time I thought that tragedy only happened to people on TV. I think many of us millennials were taught to think that nothing bad could happen to us. We were normal, we all won awards, we were protected from the world. It was all butterflies and rainbows. I...
Living while knowing my son has a fatal disease
“Nothing can prepare you for the loss of your child” I’m positive that this is true. I’ve heard these words from so many parents who have lost their children. Even though I haven’t experienced this loss personally I know with everything...
Identify the Sources of Caregiver Stress
Being a family caregiver is stressful. Unless action is taken, stress will continue to build. Family members, even the loved one you’re caring for, may not understand your stress. Some family members may think you’re exaggerating. What’s all the fuss about? “I’m not...
My Mom Had A Massive Stroke And I Became Her Caregiver
The stroke affected the right side of her body and because it occurred on the left side of the brain where language is, she is also suffering from Aphasia, which affects her verbal communication. I switch 12-hour shifts at the hospital with my father. I massage her,...
Grief: A silent killer
You know, I could start this article out with a bunch of fancy words and statistics to perhaps prove a point, but I really don’t need to. This is the 50th blog I’ve posted on The Caregiver Space this year, and all are in one way or the other, either... My Sister Was The Only Person In The World With Her Developmental Disorder And Until She Died, I Defined Myself As Her Caregiver
My first memory of Kara was during my mother’s pregnancy. I was three years old and my mother held me in a rocking chair and said, “I’m going to have a baby, but the baby is very sick.” The amount of care that Kara required impacted most aspects of my life. We rarely...
Anticipatory grief: Half heaven, half heartache
Life happens It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Annie and I were busy planning our future, and retirement. So full of promise, hope, and love. Then life played a dirty little trick on us. One day, out of the blue and with no warning, the phone rang in my office....
Mourning in anticipation of the loss
You are there listening to the doctor tell you and your loved one that they have a fixed amount of time to live. If you are lucky they can stretch it out somewhat with medication, therapy, hospice care or a few other options. Going home the mind plays the scene over...
Why is anticipatory grief so powerful?
Although everyone experiences anticipatory grief—a feeling of loss before a death or dreaded event occurs—some have never heard of the term. I didn’t understand the power of anticipatory grief until I became my mother’s family caregiver. My mother suffered a series of...
After caregiving: building a new life
Strains of “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” underscore a commercial on my television—as if I really need to be reminded. Now, I’m not a “Bah! Humbug!” type of person, but these past few years, Christmastime hasn’t been so ho, ho, ho. As I write this, it’s...
Anticipatory Grief
In 2009, musician Mat Kearney released a song titled “Closer to Love”. I was pretty sure the first two verses were written exclusively for me: She got the call today One out of the gray And when the smoke cleared It took her breath away She said she didn’t believe...
Understanding Anticipatory Grief in Caregiving
“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” -C.S. Lewis
“Normal” vs. “Complicated” Grief
A death from a long illness is very different from a sudden death. It gives you time to say goodbye and time to adjust to the idea that the beloved will not be with you anymore. Some researchers have found that it is “easier” to experience a death if you know for at...Top Posts
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