Should It Be OK for Someone to Have an Affair When Their Partner Is Seriously Ill?
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Caregivers who love their ailing spouse, but cannot attend to their own romantic needs, can feel captive. Should they get, as other inmates do, brief vacations due to good behavior?

Marriage has often been likened to a prison. A major type of relational commitment, marriage indeed limits one’s romantic freedom. The problem of captive caregivers, however, differs from problems in normal marriages. In the former, it is not that one partner cannot fully satisfy all the needs of the other, but that they can barely fulfill any of the other’s needs—and particularly not romantic ones.

Caregivers can deal with these painful circumstances in three main ways: (a) deserting (or divorcing) the sick spouse, (b) denying oneself romantic satisfaction, and (c) using romantic outsourcing. All three options are agonizing.

Read more on Psychology Today.

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1 Comment

  1. I am having an affair with a male caregiver whose wife has early Alzheimer’s. I am a widow 6 years now and a previous caregiver of a loving husband who a stroke and I cared for him 12 years before he passed and was celebant those years. No one can judge another for anything they feel is immoral until you walk in their shoes and experience the loneliness and frustration that comes with long term illness that a caregiver experienced. I am been his friend for about 4 years and friend with benefits for about a year. So I understand completely what he is feeling. I do not pressure him into anything that is negative to his wife being a priority. I love him and give him high marks on how he dedicated he is towards her. He is lucky to know me and have my support and understanding of his situation. I have helped him in more ways than one and I’m am glad we are friends


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