I hit the wall because I didn’t want to need help, because I felt betrayed by my body and I didn’t know how to talk about it. I hit the wall because I was scared and I wanted to be in control. I hit it because I had failed to make myself better, or at the least, to stop myself from getting so sick.

When I agreed to the care collective I wanted to take the burden off my friends and partner (at the time) who were doing so much for me—not because I believed I deserved the care. I worried that I was burning them out and that they would come to resent me. Limiting how much friends cared for me became the focus of the collective—not getting care for myself. At the time I believed any other choice would result in abandonment.

Read more in The Peak.

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Weee just got my newest issue of Peak Magazine all about disability justice. Here's an illustration I did for Jennie Duguay's article on community based care. Check out Peak Magazine for free and thoughtful writing and art! . . . . #disabilityjustice #communitycare #womenwithpencils #illustration #markers

A post shared by Heidi Cho (@heidichomakesart) on Apr 20, 2017 at 7:35am PDT