Senior woman with wheelchair and helping caregiver. sandwich generation men and women care for disabled children and elderly parents at the same time and need financial support
Providing support to a critically ill, disabled, or frail family member goes far beyond providing emotional support. Often it comes with significant financial sacrifices.

Many people wonder if there is a way to get paid to be a caregiver to a family member.

The answer is: sometimes.

And it’s probably not going to be very much money.

 

There are very many programs that provide financial support for family caregivers in the US. They vary depending on your geographic location, your demographics, and the person you’re caring for.

You’re most likely to qualify for pay if you’re caregiving for a US military veteran.

You also have good odds of getting financial help if the person you’re caring for qualifies for Medicaid.

 

This article provides an overview of programs available in the United States of America so you can determine which ones you may qualify for. I include where to go for more information. You can also use this information to help unlock services by asking a social worker familiar with programs in your state and county about specific programs that might be able to help you. 

US Government programs that pay family caregivers

Administration on Aging & Department of Aging Services

Each state and county provides different services for the Administration on Aging. Some programs will provide stipends, reimburse caregivers for supplies, offer training, and provide respite. Paying for Senior Care maintains a list of Area Agencies on Aging and Disability Resource Centers that’s searchable by state and county.

Guardians of children

Guardians of disabled children who are not their biological or adopted children can become subsidized guardians. This allows relatives to receive financial help to care for children and keep them out of foster care.

Structured Family Caregiving

In some states, family caregivers of Medicaid recipients can be paid through the Structured Family Caregiving program. In order to participate, you must be referred by your local Agency on Aging, which is typically run at the county level. The program is run by Caregiver Homes. Caregiver Homes is available in Connecticut, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Ohio, and Indiana, and will be in other states soon.

  • The person receiving care must be eligible for Medicaid and deficient in at least 3 of 5 activities of daily living: dressing, bathing, grooming, using the toilet, eating, walking, or getting in and out of bed.
  • Caregivers and patients must live together.
  • Stipends typically range between $900 and $1,200 a month, depending on the level of care.
  • You will be assigned a registered nurse and a care manager who will meet with the caregiver and patient to develop a care plan and will provide ongoing coaching, training, and other support.

Unemployment

Some states allow workers who are fired or forced to quit their jobs because of their caregiving responsibilities to collect unemployment. Check with your state unemployment office to see if this is an option for you.

Medicaid

Medicaid provides self-directed services for people in need of long-term care. These programs allow the care recipient to hire you to provide home care.

Benefits, coverage, eligibility and rules are different in each state. Some states allow spouses and guardians to be hired as caregivers, others don’t. Others restrict pay to people who live outside the home of the care recipient.

Medicaid varies by state, so contact your local Medicaid office to find out if you may qualify.

The programs have different names in different locations. It may be called:

  • Cash and Counseling
  • Medicaid Waiver
  • Consumer Directed Care
  • Participant-Directed Services
  • In-Home Supportive Services

If your Medicaid office isn’t responsive, the National Resource Center for Participant-Directed Services can help connect you to the state programs that allow the patient to decide how to spend their health care money – sometimes including the option to pay a family member for care.

Medicare

Unfortunately, Medicare does not pay for in-home care or adult day services.

young woman at a library using her laptop to find caregiving resources

Too many options?

Hundreds of programs pay family members to be caregivers for their aging loved ones. Paying For Senior Care provides a useful tool, the Paid Caregiver Program Locator, that will allow you to find the programs that will pay you as a family caregiver. 

Resources for people providing care to US military veterans

The VA provides a range of services for Veterans. The VA’s Caregiver Support Line will be able to tell you what services you and your family may be eligible for, so be sure to give them a call at 1-855-260-3274.

Aid & attendant pension and housebound benefits

Veterans and their surviving spouses may be eligible for additional pension payments if they require home health aids or other assistance or are housebound because of a disability.

The Aid & Attendant pension and Housebound benefits are two separate programs that have a common application system. The veteran you’re providing care to may qualify for either, but can only enroll in one of the two programs.

You can request an aid and attendant pension by completing this PDF form and submitting it to the pension management center for your state or your regional VA office.

Post 9/11 veterans

The caregivers of disabled post-9/11 veterans may be eligible to receive a monthly stipend, health insurance coverage, caregiver training, counseling, and respite care for one primary family caregiver and up to two secondary family caregivers.

This program may also be known as the Program of Comprehensive Assistance for Family Caregivers.

Veteran Directed Home and Community Based Services

Veterans who qualify for nursing home placement may also qualify for the Veteran-Directed Home and Community Based Services program. Veterans in this program may hire their own personal care aids, including family members.

This program may also be called Veteran Directed Care.

VA medical centers determine eligibility and oversee the program, which is not available in all states.

Curious about your state resources?

Want to see what programs are available in your state? Caregiver Homes Senior Link provides a list of financial assistance for caregivers organized by US state.

nonbinary care worker

Private sources of financial support for family caregivers

Paid family leave

Some states and territories, including  CaliforniaNew JerseyRhode Island, New York, Washington, and Washington D.C. allow employees to take time away from their regular jobs in order to provide care to a family member.

Disease or condition specific organizations

Some private organizations will provide stipends or grants to support caregivers. Organizations who offer this each have their own requirements, so contact a social worker to find out more.

Family arrangements

Sometimes parents will recognize the financial hardship their care causes family members and will pay their family members to care for them. This may take the form of an adjustment in the amount of inheritance or some other creative reimbursement. Sometimes relatives will pool their money to pay the primary family caregiver. It’s wise to write a caregiver contract and check with an elder care benefits planner or elder law attorney if you decide to go this route, as it can have implications on Medicaid eligibility, taxes, and inheritance.

There’s also the possibility that family members could share the cost of caregiving, so it’s not all falling on one person.

It’s important to make sure family members are in agreement. Finances can bring out the worst in families, especially during stressful times. You may consider family mediation services – the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys can help you if you’re caring for an aging relative.

Long-term care insurance

Certain types of long-term care insurance will pay for in-home assistance, including family caregivers. These types of policies are relatively unusual and most exclude people who live in the same household from being paid. These types of plans tend to be significantly more expensive. Talk to your insurance agent to learn more.

What if none of these programs will help you?

Even if you can’t get paid to serve as a family caregiver, you may be eligible for programs that will cover adult day services, in-home support, or other ways to ease the financial burden.

Department of Welfare

Caregivers may qualify for other programs, including cash assistance, food subsidies, and medical assistance. Check with your state welfare office for more information.

Resources for those over 55

The National Council on Aging can help you find out if your loved one is eligible for financial assistance for medication, housing costs, and health care. Get started with their Benefits Checkup.

Social service organizations

There are numerous organizations that provide grants or emergency assistance to families. Many of these are specific to location, employment history, and condition. Organizations will provide grants for rent, mortgages, and utilities. Other organizations provide support for food, medication, supplies, and grants for home modifications to meet the needs of people with disabilities. Each agency has its own eligibility requirements, so you will need to search online by specific needs, contact a local social worker, or discuss it with hospital staff.

Tax deductions for caregivers

If you’re caring for a relative and provide for more than half of their basic living expenses, you may be able to claim them as a dependent on your taxes. You may also be able to deduct their medical expenses, even if you can’t claim them as dependents. Visit the IRS website or call the IRS help-line at 800-829-1040. You can also talk to an accountant about these options.

Working while serving as a caregiver

Some companies are more caregiver-friendly than others. Your company may allow you to work part-time, have flexible hours, work from home, or provide additional time off. Or they may not.

Under the Family and Medical Leave Act, eligible workers are entitled to 12 weeks of unpaid leave per year. Some companies even have employee assistance programs. Check your employee handbook to see if your company has set policies. Go over the options with your supervisor and HR before you make any big decisions.

 

Getting help is possible

It isn’t easy and it isn’t enough, but help is out there. Find out where other caregivers have found help and how it turned out.

Do you use one of these programs? Have you tried to enroll? Is there another program we should know about? Please let us know in the comments.

white boomer man looking out a window debating what to do to pay the bills while his wife is sick

Do these programs really work?

Skeptical that these programs will really be worth the effort? We’ve talked to hundreds of caregivers using these programs about how much help they’re getting and how they make ends meet. Find out what they have to say.

Written by Cori Carl
As Director, Cori is an active member of the community and regularly creates resources for people providing care.

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301 Comments

  1. Anything in Kentucky? I am a single mom caring for my 20 year old disabled son, with no help from his dad. He gets SSI but is about to age out of our high school. I am scared I may have to quit my job but do not have the income or savings to support that. I also have another child under 18 at home. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated!

    Reply
  2. Was looking for some takes regarding this topic and I found your article quite informative. It has given me a fresh perspective on the topic tackled. Thanks!
    The most important benefit of family caregiving is that it strengthens family relationships. It allows both the care recipients and the family caregivers to spend little moments together, and to realize the things that are truly valuable and worth prioritizing. Check my blog

    Recognizing the Vital Role of Family Caregivers

    Thanks,

    Eli

    Reply
  3. I would like to know how to get paid in FL also. My Dad is a veteran but told he doesn’t qualify for services cause his disability isn’t military connected. Otherwise you have to be eligible for Medicaid which my Dad is not eligible for.

    Reply
  4. I’m moved in with my mom a couple of years ago to help around the house (she lived alone prior to this.) In the past three months she has been hospitalized three times with heart and breathing difficulties. She has Medicare and her doctor has ordered in home assistance. Mom has requested that I be her caregiver and I am happy to do so. From my research, it looks like Medicare will pay a family member to be a caregiver if care is ordered by a doctor, but I cannot find how to apply for this. Do you have any suggestions? I will be caring for her regardless, but I’ve had to miss a lot of work and cut my hours to part time to do this. The extra income would be a big help.

    I would appreciate any insight you can offer. We are in Missouri, if that makes a difference.

    Reply
  5. My husband has just been diagnosed with brain cancer 6 months ago. He continued to work while I am taking care of him. We are not sure how long will he be able work as he is having cognitive issue. Are there any programs in Kentucky that I will be eligible for as a fulltime caregiver? I hope you can help me.

    Reply
  6. This is great a ton of advice and resources as to how to access support if you’d like to continue to care for the disabled person. Not sure how much of it actually ends up working for families but its worth a shot to try to get help if you’d like to still care for the disabled person as a continuing member of the family. But what i’d like to know is how do you DUMP a disabled family member whose care has been FORCED upon you. I am trying to help family but I’ve been burdened with a 77 year old mentally retarded elder who is my aunt, and at the moment don’t see a way out except for to leave her at a homeless shelter. I can no longer take care of her. No one in the family can house her. I cannot house her. It is impossible to house and care for someone disabled and have a life for yourself, let alone WORK to support yourself. She is selfish and mean and exhausting to the point that I am literally considering taking her to a homeless shelter just so that I can go home and kill myself in peace. Can someone tell me of alternatives where an agency takes this elderly disabled person who I”m barely related to but have been stuck with off my hands so I can live instead of killing myself? Or does the state want us to kill ourselves? (i already know the answer, which is yes).

    Reply
    • I started research for an article on how to decline taking on the role of full-time caregiver and found it nearly impossible to find reliable information online or any experts willing to speak to the issue. As far as I know, dropping someone off at a shelter or emergency room is the best way to ensure someone is connected to the care they need. Lists for supportive housing can be decades long; this is bypassed when emergency housing is required. If you do anything to support them at all, they are expected to become your complete responsibility. Our government sets things up to compel people into burnout and bankruptcy by making complete abandonment the only other option.

      Reply
  7. Cori Carl provided helpful and comprehensive information about options for paying caregivers. Programs vary state to state and are, in general a work in progress. That is not to say you shouldn’t bother—it is worth you effort to explore what is available—and a good starting point is your Area Agency on Aging. See http://www.bgmatthewsblog.wordpress.com for more information.

    Reply
  8. Asking for a couple who are friends of mine. NY state. They are in their 30’s and have a 15 month old. She had a stroke years ago and has no use of her left arm and leg. She was working part time but now has other serious medical issues going on and her boss took her out of work 2 weeks ago. She does get some SS Disability. Her husband is a stay at home dad and has been unable to now work as he needs to care for their baby and now his wife which is causing major financial hardships. Is there anything out there for this couple!???

    Reply
  9. Any recommendations for ILLINOIS — my wife takes care of our handicapped 19 year old daughter 24/7 and financial help programs you can recommend — Would be greatly appreciated

    Reply
    • Hi, call the Dept for Health and Rehab Services and explain the situation and that you are seeking assistance. This is how I got an appointment. (I take care of my son.) we moved out of state before the appointment, it did take a few months, but they will do a home assessment. I have the number for Elgin if you are anywhere near here.

      Reply
      • Heather —- YES — please provide the Phone # for Elgin, IL Office …. this is something we may look into — Thanks for responding

        Jeff

  10. I am in Indiana and am just getting started caregiving for my brother. I am not sure how the financial part of this works. how will this money effect my SSI? and my Hoosier Care Connect Insurance?

    Reply
    • Im moving to Alabama i need a resources that allows parent caregiver in Alabama
      Im in cal i have ihss but alabama has diffrent programs .
      Any resources would be helpful in this transition

      Reply
  11. Being a caregiver is a labor of love… with great physical, emotional and financial tolls on the caregiver and often taken for granted by selfish, greedy or conveniently estranged family members. I wasn’t paid a cent but had my mom lived longer than the 2.5 yrs she was ill I would have definitely had to consider quitting me job to care for her.

    Reply
  12. Yes my dad was in the military , it’s not much and took 2 years. It’s called aids and benefits in Wisconsin.

    Reply
  13. You can in CA. It’s the IHSS (In Home Supportive Services) program, through the Dept. of Social Services.

    Reply
  14. I AM LOOKING FOR MORE INFO PLEASE

    Reply
  15. I do here in NJ,, BUT I THINK.THEY STOPPED IT, I’M PAID 8 HRS ,7 DAYS A WEEK, EVEN THOUGH I’M HERE 24/7, I CAN’T COMPLAIN, I ALSO.GET AN AIDE TO HELP ME AND THEY ARE ALSO.PAID

    Reply
    • hi i know how you feel. i take care of my permenenately disabled with 24/7 also. i live in nj also. who do i contact to get paid to take care of her ? please help with as much info as possible i really need help. thank you very much.

      Reply
  16. If anyone knows if it is possible in BC, Canada, I would appreciate knowing… please share.

    Reply
  17. If it were possible in OH there would be many families could avoid financial struggle.

    Reply
  18. The state does not understand what we give up to care for our loved ones, or the stress and heart aches we go through when they pass, being a live in caregiver is the most rewarding and the most stressful option we choose to do to make sure our love one is cared for

    Reply
  19. Tx. If you sell off everything you own and can live on $200 a week. With SS about to be ended. Services like. Meals on wheels ended. Took that and my health. Dept. 5 years

    Reply
    • I live in Texas and am looking for caregiver help for me taking care of my mom. She is not medicaid eligible and I am disabled, but have not gotten a win in the court yet. We will have “some” in-home health care, but not sure for how long yet and I am an only child, so there are no siblings to call on. I feel like I’m about to hit a deadend and I’m just not sure I am physically able to even do that. Worried in Texas!

      Reply
      • Texas sucks! I have a 22 year old with autism, mitochondrial deficiency, insomnia, cycle vomiting, and a history of seizures. For the last year he has became severely OCD and violent. For the first time in his life he has to take antipsychotic medication. He’s getting ready to have a cat scan because for the last 6 months he’s had blood in his urine. In the last 3 months he has gained 32lbs and has low blood pressure and high. It’s just me and he’s step dad but because we are his legal guardians we can’t get paid to care for him. He qualifies for 23 hours of care weekly and we can pay someone $10 an hour but if he becomes violent with them, he loses all state benefits! Of course we can’t find anyone for $10 an hour. We moved to Texas two years ago from Iowa. In Iowa I provided care to an 11 year old who has autism and got paid 19.75 an hour and my son had services of 35 hours a week and we paid his staff $16.50 an hour.

  20. New Jersey does not allow spouses pay for caregiving. Unfair, most caregivers end up with two full-time jobs, earning one wage that must care for two.

    Reply
    • What agency in Iowa is it that paid for your son to have a caregiver?

      Also do they pay the mom? My daughter is disabled & we are going to move to Iowa. Thanks.

      Reply
  21. God it’s so very hard! I ache for you all!

    Reply
  22. No in Indiana if spouse

    Reply
  23. Yes, there is a way in Wisconsin, as I understand it. We did not need it but were looking at the possibilities.

    Reply
  24. Not at all in Tn unless it’s temporary for rehab and they’re going back to work

    Reply
  25. You can in AZ and PA, but not if you’re the spouse in AZ. There are many hoops to jump through but it is possible. From start to finish it took me 8 weeks in both states. It’s not full time hours, even though I care for my mother 24/7. For me the extra is a big help. I’m very grateful.

    Reply
    • I’m in Pa and could not get it for taking care of my husband. Now take care of my dad as I did my mom. How do you do it?

      Reply
    • Your parent has to make a certain income, they can’t own a home or car basically. If they qualify on the income which works out to be less than $2500 a month. Then you apply for insurance thru Compass http://www.dhs.pa.gov
      Once they are eligible for medical assistance then state starts setting up meetings, forms etc. Your parent basically has to need care 24/7 as in a care facility but you will be providing it at home. I hope that helps.

      Reply
    • It took me 5 months to get things together here in Colorado. Between all the different agencies I had to deal with. Plus the fact that i had to re-send all my paperwork several times to the various agencies because they lost it.

      Reply
    • Where did u go? I’m not married to him he’s my future partner does that matter he has cancer an depression bad how do I go about seeing if I can get help I’m also a cancer survivor with diabetes2 as well so it takes everything out of me I do everything he can’t walk or do anything he’s almost like bed ridding looking for HELP!!

      Reply
    • I live in PA and only took two weeks to get approved with over forty hours a week. Does AZ allot a specific amount of hours and is there a waiting list?

      Reply
  26. In the State of California, there is the County program IHSS (In Home Support Services) and a State program (WPCS). I have been my son’s full time caregiver for the last 8 years, since he came home from the hospital following a life-changing car crash (his friend fell asleep at the wheel). I am paid by both agencies, as he requires Protective Supervision.

    Reply
    • I dont get protective compensation for my daughter even though she needs supervision. Colorado told me that if she requires 24 hour care then she needs to go into a care facility. A facility would cost triple what they are paying me.

      Reply
    • Believe me, it was a battle to get the Protective Supervision!! We fought and got it, and then they discontinued it, and then after a few years (thanks to the WPCS worker, I’m sure, who is actually a nurse!!), He was granted it again. He suffered many broken bones, and has had one leg amputated at the knee… but it’s the massive brain injuries that give him the problems he needs supervision for. Do you get any financial help in giving care???

      Reply
  27. In Illinois yes, but no husbands and wife’s. parents and adult children yes and siblings.

    Reply
  28. Yes in ny…consumer directed you get 157 per day

    Reply
    • Can you explain “consumer directed”?

      Reply
      • My husband has stage four cancer, has chemo every 3 weeks. I give him his shots and take care of him. Make his meal’s. Just found out he can’t see. Has to has surgery on his eyes. Know one will help me financially to take care of him. He does not want anyone else coming in our home to help him

  29. Not in Utah, unless they are a Veteran….but even then I don’t know.

    Reply
    • There is a program called DSPD that will pay siblings… not parents. There is a several year wait for services.

      Reply
  30. Not in Ontario Canada if your parent has an income over 22,000 you don’t qualify. They feel the parent should pay you. So wrong.

    Reply
  31. Not in INDIANA

    Reply
  32. Medicaid Home and community based services and VA Aid and Attendance pension

    Reply
    • Really!? I need to look into it then! Good to know!

      Reply
    • OH NO!!!

      Reply
  33. Not here. I was told my son would have to “choose” me as an aide – I told the lady, “He can’t even choose a shirt!” He’s non-verbal!

    Reply
    • That’s unreal. The stupidity! I’m so sorry!

      Reply
    • that’s what I told them too! lol

      Reply
    • Jeanie Olinger, I bet you got dead silence or if you said it in person, I bet she looked like a deer in headlights! I can just picture it! So crazy!

      Reply
    • I told her in person “ma’am he can’t even pick a shirt” then ai wrote a long letter

      Reply
    • How about a doctor’s recommendation? Or maybe you can look into conservatorship??

      Reply
  34. There is DORS in Il. It’s complicated, there ARE hoops to jump thru, but some people do get paid for family caregiving. I don’t too many hoops, not organised enough.

    Reply
  35. Yes you can here in the phillipines… I’m a family caregiver for two years until now I taking care an old man bedridden and stage 4 bedsore then he’s totally recovered when my boss get pregnant she need my service again now I taking care of their baby…so I’m still a home caregiver until now.

    Reply
    • The Philippines cares for people so much more then here in the U.S. I grew up on clark air base and my step mom is Filipino.

      Reply
    • Yeah your right maam ….cause Filipino is caring loving and have long patience. Thanks maam

      Reply
    • Is that why your President kills innocent people, because the Filipino government is so caring?

      Reply
    • Its not our mistake the mistake of our president madam we a Filipino ordinary people do our job…

      Reply
    • Nor are all Americans lacking compassion. A pretty bold claim Kelly makes and certainly not representative of who we are in the States.

      Reply
    • Lauren, why would you bring that up? Dam! This should be caregivers helping caregivers… I don’t see Maribel reminding us our POTUS thinks it is ok to grab women by the pussy…. can we just stop and focus on caregiving!

      Reply
  36. Not in WV. There are no programs of any kind in WV for caregiving or those who need care.

    Reply
  37. Yes they can in Oregon. Its called a Personal Support Worker.

    Reply
    • Indeed!!! Thank you for that, I neglected that part

      Reply
  38. Anybody know if Ohio has anything?

    Reply
    • I believe so. I was an aide for 2 twin boys with CP and there mom was single and was able use her boys as an income ( along with a full time job )

      Reply
    • There’s some sort of program if you’re caring for family member using Medicaid.

      Reply
    • Julie Riley maybe a Medicaid waiver program.

      Reply
    • Julie Riley my mom is still on Medicare. It’s been a hard decision to leave my good paying full-time job to care for her full-time.

      Reply
    • Yes, that’s a hard decision for sure. I left my career about six or seven years ago to care for my parents, both who have dementia. My dad has just started receiving care through hospice at home. I’ve been blessed 1000 times over these past years while being with them. My savings has dwindled since I’ve done this, I might have to work until I’m well into my 70s but I wouldn’t trade these years for anything. Each of us has to do what is right for ourselves though.

      Reply
    • I haven’t found a way in Alabama either.

      Reply
    • In NY you can’t be the person’s SS payee or their POA.

      Reply
  39. Do us parents of grown over 21 kids with serious issues?sorry I left out in north carolina! Maybe someone can find a list of where does and does not! I ‘ll post it if I find one

    Reply
  40. YES,Depends on the State

    Reply
  41. Yes in Colorado. But it is only for the care of that person. If the person needing care has minor children, they dont count. Cleaning for the family , meals prepared for the family, laundry for the family do not count as care for the individual. I care for my adult daughter with a brain injury and also my two grandchildren. I get NOTHING for taking care of them financially. The state determines exactly how much you will be paid to take care of the one needing care. It is far less than what the actual cost should be. They dont take into account the caregivers needs at all.

    Reply
  42. You can in California. It is called IHSS… In Home Support Services.

    Reply
  43. You can’t in Iowa I know that took care of my husband

    Reply
    • Shelly, where do I start looking? My son, 18, is disabled, about to be out of the school system. I’ve been blessed with a job with hours that allow me to work while he is in school, but that means I will have to stop working to care for him when he is finished. Respite does not pay for me to work, only for “babysitting” type situations. We need both our incomes to survive, and if I have to stay home, we are going to be in bad shape.

      Reply
    • Depends. My daughter (19) cates for her brother. But they won’t pay me

      Reply
  44. Dear advice, It would be great if i could get paid for caring for my mother but i dont really care about the pay to much right now, I just need help getting her home with me. This is my very sad story concerning my mother.My mother had a heart attack in 2012, she was on life support for seven days,she stayed in the hospital for three months and rehab for a month before being released to return home,my sister and I were her 24hrs a day caregivers for the next three years, we were imformed that our mother was diagnoised with dementia after the heart attack. So now, after all the time my sister and i put in caring for my mother she was diagnoised with bone cancer,this was devastating news because now i had to care for both of them. Caring for my mother and sister was to much for my back to handle,i suffered with sciatia nerve pain in my lower back, i asked family members and siblings to care for them until my back was pain free,four days later my sister and mother was placed in separate nursing homes,my sister died three weeks later and my mother was given meds for combativeness that rendered her paralyzed.Now I was not able to take my mother home because she was paralyzed and I was not her guardian at that time( my deceased sister was).my mother became combative in this facility and every day i visited she had a different cut or bruise on her face,head and body,It took me eight months of fighting this nursing home and there lawyers to get my mother out and into a different nursing facility, five months into this facility, a resident pushed my mother over backwards in wheelchair that resulted in her having a stroke, two months after the stroke happened,I was called by a nursing facility that I was placed on a waiting list for two years,very excited because this facility was thought to be a five star( big mistake) skilled alzheimers/dementia unit, this facility is a training facility for up and coming nurses and train stnas,so now my mother 88yr.old mother has alzheimer/dementia paralyzed in one facility and had a stroke in another,there was no way i would allow a bunch of trainees care for my mother,I began spending 80 hr.a week assisting with my mothers care,the long hours I spent in this facility apparently made this staff uncomfortable because I started complaining about missed meds,misdiagnoises,unauthorized meds and negligence. I was approach nov 14 2017 by two officers,Director O Nursing,and the Administrator as I sat in my car in the parking lot and told I was banned from the facility and want be able to see my mother until further notice.l am trying to get my mother out of this facility but its not possible unless i have a home medical stand up lift to transport my mother from her wheelchair to the bed,bath,toliet etc. I am not asking for money i just want a stand up lift so i can bring my mother home to live out her final days, she has suffered enough, Thank You.

    Reply
    • I know that this really may not be much help, but my husband and I are looking into lifts for my mother as well. This is going to sound very archaic, but it came from my welder husband. At some of the larger work tool supply places, such as, Northern Tool, Harbor Freight, etc, they sell hydraulic lifts for lifting motors out of cars. We are looking at putting a t-bar and a sling on one. Not sure how large one is or if it will even fit through any of our doors, it is still in the working stages. I thought since you are also looking for a lift, I would mention it. If you know a man that buys industrial tools…a mechanic, a machinist, a welder…maybe they can help you decide if it is workable for you.

      Hope this helps us both…Susie

      Reply
  45. It’s been 5 month my husband told me he is not in love with me anymore. That was the last time I saw him. He moved in to live with her, this was after 9 years our my marriage, i was heart broken until i got in contact with Dr.Mack, after i saw good testimony on how he restored relationship, i decided to get in contact with him and when i told him all my problems he laughed and said this is not a problem that everything will be OK in 2 days time.Exactly the 2nd day my husband called me i was shocked and what surprise, My Husband behavior was normal as the man i got married to. Am so grateful to Dr.Mack for what he did for me in helping me to get my husband back, I want to thank God for using Dr.Mack as my source of savior,if you wish to contacting him Email: [email protected] yahoo. com,,,

    Reply
  46. I have done it for both of my parents. My dad does not qualify for medicaid because his SS check is too high. I hated leaving my job and school with two semesters left but no one else would help. Now I feel like a waste and non productive as my family would put it but at least my dad is getting good care because of me. That is worth more than I can imagine!

    Reply
  47. Worst financial decision I ever made was to quit my job to take care of an elder. Truth is, she would have starved to death if I didn’t. Worth it, most days.

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  48. Someday i really want to be a caregiver…old parents..i reall want to care..because i didnt.do it to.my parents.

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  49. Most likely not. I don’t, and I don’t expect to be. Family members who don’t have a clue, and never help, think otherwise.

    Reply
    • Does anyone know if there is a program in Montana that allows wife to be a paid personal care attendant for spouse with spinal cord injury.

      Reply
  50. In North Carolina you can.

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  51. More smoke and mirrors. In Indiana, don’t count on help for your disabled child requiring 24/7 care by the CIH waiver until you’re age 80 or dead. Until then, you may get the small Family Support waiver of a whopping $16,500 annually, which is quickly eaten by case management and high service provider costs. What a surreal experience.

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  52. I’m In Canada and I need to know this because we ate running out of $.

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  53. Please keep in mind when you give up your job to be a caregiver, you lose all that social security you could have had; you will end up old, impoverished, no social security; your loved one will live on and on and on and on and on, you will not be getting ‘paid’ by anyone anywhere’ ; there is a good chance YOU will die before your loved one, and guess what? They will go into some kind of nursing home anyway! I am saying, this is a horrible problem for caregivers, so you better work as long as you can, as much as possible, for your own futures.

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  54. If the patient qualifies for Medicaid and you aren’t married

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  55. Not in Indiana for spousal care. At least not as long as you don’t want to get divorced , and don’t live in the same house !

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  56. I was told I couldn’t get paid to care for my child and I can’t get an aide for her either.

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  57. If anyone knows of any canadian programs please let me know.

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  58. I quit a career i truly loved that paid very well, to be a care provider 7 years ago. Even though i get paid its not enough, all my resources are gone including my savings.

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  59. There is no pay for it, I have been doing it for more years than I can count. Everyone has resources that all fall through.

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  60. Does anyone know if this can also be applied to parents caring for adult children with developmental disorders or mental health issues?

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  61. No I’m a full time caregiver for a living 98 hours this week

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  62. I get paid in Maryland to care for my 25 y/o son with cerebral palsy. It is through a Medicaid community pathways waiver program.

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  63. Wish I would have known this when I cared for my mom from 2012-2015.

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  64. Here in Nevada, you have to be destitute in order to be eligible for anything.

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  65. My mom was eligible for paid help. They ( the state) offered it to me. Apx 1K per month. They would take the 1K from her, then give it to me.
    lol
    Um no, I didn’t do that.

    Reply
    • Can you please help me…I am in Illinois and my 14 yr old son has spastic cerebral palsy and I am unable to work. I called a local agency that said my son is my responsibility legally and that is not possible.
      Please and thanks!

      Reply
  66. Not eligible either 15 years no pay. I’m in trouble becauae no one will help me when I get older and I missed vital income for future benifits.

    Reply
  67. I have just got signed up with Moms in Motion in Virginia. This is through a community based Medicaid wavier program. They do the paperwork needed. My daughter and I are the caregivers. I have been doing this going on 8 years and just found out about this program several months ago.

    Reply
  68. Ya I got paid about $300 total Family Leave Act. Bullshit

    Reply
  69. Was a caregiver to both parents in Michigan for 11 years. Didn’t qualify for any of the programs listed. My area Agency on Aging only provides information, parents worked all their lives and were never on Medicaid so those funds were not available and it takes years to get anything from the veterans program; it’s not much and the interview process is totally invasive.

    Reply
    • That is NOT TRUE!! I am 36 and have lived here in California my entire life and I’m not on welfare!! I have Sickle Cell Anemia and was declared by the state of California as a disabled child who received SSI and my mom was my In-Home Support Services provider. I moved out at 17 and graduated from college as a nurse and let my mom continue to be my IHSS provider. Now at 36, I let my 14 year old son be my provider now and I’m still not on welfare!! So know what you’re talking about before putting out fake comments because here in California YOU DO NOT HAVE RO BE ON WELFARE TO GET IHSS!! You only need to have Medical insurance for your illness.

      Reply
      • You are right! I have been the full-time care provider for my son for 26 years! We are not on welfare and neither is he. He just has Medi-Cal.
        People need to be educated before they start flipping their lips! I am however considering relocating out of California and wonder if there’s any program similar to IHSS in California where I can be paid tax free.

  70. Can’t get paid because I am my parent’s POA. Can’t get it under my sibling due to his Medicaid status. So I have to freelance or pay out of pocket for an aide and try to work again.

    Reply
    • Good to know. I’m POA and my ‘healthy’ bro who helps is on Medicaid. Our last caregiver quit and it’ll probably take months to get a new one. Thought healthy bro might be able to get paid but guess not. Not a big deal for our family but it would have been a lil cushion so I could work a lil less

      Reply
  71. I’m gonna read this later but as far as I know, you need Medicaid and it’s not enough to live on.

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  72. Paid caregiver + room+ board. 125.00 a week . Can’t save a lot.

    Reply
  73. Hillary Clinton had a comprehensive plan for caregivers.

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  74. Been paid caregiver and guardian for the past 10+ years in Indiana

    Reply
    • I’m from In, and trying to find help for my niece (single Mom) who’s son was recently diagnosed with leukemia (and will need chemo for the next 3 years). He is eligible for ssi, but I have yet to find how she could get paid as his caretaker? If you don’t mind, could you help direct me on where to go for help? <3

      Reply
  75. Ive been doing this for my husband, for 10 yrs., 247, everyday, no weekends off here

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  76. I have been taking care of my parent for 2016. We actually moved her in with us. We entered into a Personal Care contract which allowed us to move x amount of money from her savings to us. We are allowed some per month that is tax free but the majority is taxable to us. My question is if we can claim her as a dependent on our tax filing? She is on social security and has no other income.

    Reply
  77. Not if you’re the parent/legal guardian but another household member can through state funded agencies…..and then you get paid through an agency…..like $12 an hour…..makes no sense but at least a resource….I do it and I get to work….I raise my 14 yr old grandchild who is severely challenged

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  78. I took care of my husband for 18 years. The last 11 years I couldn’t work. That’s no pay, no contributions to 401k or esop, and no social security input. We save the insurance companies millions annually, and receive no monetary compensation. The experience, however, is priceless
    That won’t help me eat and pay my bills when I retire, but it will warm my heart always

    Reply
  79. Ive been caregiving for 10 yrs now, 247 365 days a yr, i now have depression and anxiety

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  80. If you are their spouse, unfortunately the answer is No.

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  81. If a PALS is on Arizona Medicaid Long Term care you can get paid up to 40 hrs a week. Most pay $9-10/hr but minimum wage goes to $12/hr in January.

    Reply
    • Can you tell me how to apply for this? I live in California and my son is 14 however he is my caregiver because I have Sickle Cell Anemia. He wants to go to school out of state at ASU in Tempe,AZ how can I find a similar program in Arizona to California’s In-Home Support Services?

      Reply
  82. My husband became a stay at home parent to take care of our severely mentally ill son 21 years ago. We have never qualified for caregiver assistance.

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  83. I don’t claim to know the answer for providing help to people that give up basically their lives to take care of their parents or anyone for that matter. To fully understood how hard it is to be a full time caregiver one would have to do it! More times than not the caregivers health suffers in every way! It is So expensive to care for a loved one with Alzhiemer’s & their are becoming more & more people coming down with this Horrible illness!

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  84. Watch for erosion of any help. Clinton had a plan… And she really knew the situation from talking to so many…and friend’s stories. Even with the ACA…the plan was to transfer paid hospital or prof care back onto shoulders of the caregiver. More medical procedures expected.

    There was a chance with Clinton…the GOP is more intending for the “let them just die then” solution. They are the death panel they rail about!”

    Reply
  85. So basically still the answer is no not really. Grrrrr

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  86. These programs must be exceptionally new. Or maybe just never existed here in CT.

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  87. I get paid in Maryland. My son is 24 and has cerebral palsy. It’s through Medicaid. Spouses can’t get paid and the person being cared for can’t be a minor. Most states have some sort of family caregiver pay through Medicaid. I was told it didn’t exist by his caseworker. I found that wasn’t true through my own research.

    Reply
    • What Sate do live in and dealing with stubborn system in which, it is failing every time and things average people are supposed to get we are not getting.

      Reply
      • can someone please explain to me the specific reason why a spouse cannot be paid to care for a disabled spouse? I live in Philadelphia, PA – no program will pay me to care for my spouse – I had to resign from my job.

    • I am caregiving for my boyfriends mom. Her husband is deceased, but she has benefits thru his service. The VA pays me to take care of her. I wish I would have known that when my mother was ill. I don’t know why they wouldn’t have paid for you to be caregiving..

      Reply
      • Can you explain please all new to me … my mother had. Stroke this week and has always lived on her own , but she no longer will be able to , my father was in army but passed away in 2000 , I do not want to put my mother in nursing home but can’t afford to quit my job to care for her , but am willing to do what it takes

    • thanks Gale. I did try the VA a kong time ago. I know I don’t qualify for anything through them now because my husband passed away in November.

      Reply
    • The VA did pay for a few pieces of equipment he needed ( passport paid for most of them ) and a portion of his funeral expenses.

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    • did her husband go overseas? Harold taught airplane electronic repair courses stateside. Therefore since he wasn’t actual fighting in the war he qualified for less benefits.

      Reply
  88. You can get paid in TX once you have less than $2,000 in your bank account. They will recover that money through the Medicare Estate Recovery after the person dies. Watch out when you apply for anything!

    Reply
  89. Hillary Clinton had a detailed plan for caregiver support. Everything from job protections, to grants and tax credits. Oh well.

    Reply
    • If they are in your care and you pay over half their support you already can claim them legally as a dependent, despite their age.

      Reply
    • Isn’t that horrible, to have a plan to help but don’t? 8 years with an extremely influential pull in the Obama administration and prior, countless years as a New York state senator. Let’s not forget the 8 years of her husbands presidency.Folks, that not a single step has been taken towards implementation of her plan, designed in part, to ease the financial burdens that result from a caregivers selfless sacrifice is NOT the horrible part. Rather, to claim that you have a plan which would help so many and further put forth a narrative that you understand and share in the suffering of others but then if you fall short of being elected president you hold tight to that answer as if the only way you could do an iota of good was if you had been elected. Don’t share, pass on or in any way attempt to help. And NO, Don’t go there, because in order to help she didn’t need to be president. Not only has she already knocked on that door, her husbands terms would suffice, additionally I remember hearing about a certain billion dollar foundation that bears her name. I say this because people seem to be on the same page as her when I hear them State that ‘Hillary had a plan, she was going great to do this and that and so one and so forth, but too bad she wasn’t elected ” as if that is an acceptable or even human response. Im much more comfortable with, instead of this being another face of a monstrous vindictive woman, that she never had a plan and she just remains the liar we have all come to know and love.

      Reply
  90. I’m in Washington state. I could have gotten $ to care for my mom. The state would take her money, and pay me about 2/3 of what they would take from her.
    0 pay was my choice. I’d do it all over again. I was already helping her financially. It’s crazy how they think this stuff up. I don’t foresee it getting any better.

    Reply
  91. Call your Public Authority he will direct you on which way to go to get help.

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  92. I was able to receive a small amount for being the caregiver for my Dad out of his VA benefits. we live in IN and no other organization would allow it that I researched.

    Reply
  93. And most of them u have to give up everything to get any help.

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  94. Lots of these won’t cover spouses that are the caregiver. That horrible.

    Reply
    • why aren’t spouses covered? I’m an unpaid caregiver for my disabled spouse. Pennsylvania. Trying to find out exact reason why not.

      Reply
    • Actually, most cases are no. Very few states approve parents.

      Reply
  95. Hi, Miss Carl…My name is LoriJo and I live in North Carolina. Because my job required lots of travel, I was forced to quit my job 2 1/2 years ago, to take care of my father who was suffering from Multiple Myeloma, and my mother who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s dementia. It was more than 24/7 undertaking! My father has since passed away and my mother has been placed on Palliative care. My husband and I have depleted every penny of our savings and now we are so far in debt that we rob Peter to pay Paul’s shutoff notices. I was told at the Carolina Pain Center, where my mother visits, that there are programs that can help us financially so that we can keep my mother at home with us. I have spent the past 2 days looking online for any program that can benefit us. I’m not dumb, I was a traveling RN/EMT, but I cant understand any of the mumbo jumbo that I reading! 🙁 All I’m getting feels like a “pass the buck” kinda thing. Is there a phone number that I can talk to a real person who cares if my mother is in my home or a nursing home? Desperately seeking answers…Thank for your time! LoriJo

    Reply
    • The problem is that there are so many programs and they all have very different requirements. Your mom’s doctor should be able to provide your family with a social worker and they can guide you through the different programs available in your area that you and your mom might qualify for.

      Reply
  96. Hi just moved from California with my dad who was on ihss i was just wandering if i can be his caregiver here in wa state

    Reply
    • I live in California, born and raised, and I have Sickle Cell Anemia. As a child I received SSI because I was considered a disabled child and now I am a nurse and my son is 14. I have my son do my IHSS and he wants to go out of state to school in Arizona at ASU, so I’m looking into programs out there that are like our IHSS here in Cali. My cousin lives in Seattle and his daughter was disabled and passed away in September at the age of 8. However, I told him when she was 6 months old to apply for SSI for her and he received it plus she had a nurse come to the house everyday she was a total care patient. I know they have services out there you just have to find out where by going to your local welfare agency and asking a worker because long as he has Medical he will qualify for something similar to the IHSS here.

      Reply
  97. Can you get paid directly from medicaid and cut out the home health agency to care for your loved ones? Do not want to go through consumer direct.

    Reply
    • Unfortunately, I am unaware of any states that allow this option. You’ll want to check with a social worker in your area to make sure.

      Reply
  98. Hi. I just found out my 12 year old son has stage 3 lymphoma, but does have an 85% cure rate. They are predicting his treatments will be about 6.5 to 8.5 months as long as he tolerates the chemotherapy. I will have to go on FMLA for almost a year without income. Is there any service that will help supplement that, or can i collect ssi or unemployment during that time?

    Reply
    • The cancer center your son is being treated at should be able to provide you with a social worker who can guide you through your specific options.

      Some states only allow you to collect unemployment if you are ready and able to work, so you can be denied benefits for providing unpaid care, volunteering, going to school, etc.

      One option would be to collect welfare: http://www.masslegalhelp.org/income-benefits/caring-disabled-family-member

      Your son my be eligible for disability payments: https://www.ssa.gov/disability/disability_starter_kits_child_factsheet.htm

      And you may be eligible: https://www.ssa.gov/planners/disability/dfamily2.html

      The options and requirements are complex, so you should talk to an expert at the hospital.

      Reply
    • You can apply for SSI for your son as he is now considered a disabled child. I live in Cabrini and raised here and I am 36 years old. As a child my mom received SSI for me and did my In-Home Support Services. I moved out at 17 after high school graduation and let her keep doing the IHSS but get my own SSI checks once I turned 18 that October. Now I’m 36 years old and of course I still have my sickle cell because you are born with it but now I am a nurse and because I’m still sick I get Medical still so my son now does my In-Home Support Services, so you should DEFINITELY apply online with Social Security to get him some SSI nad then since he has Medical you should ask your local welfare agency if you can app,y to be a caregiver for him due to his illness.

      Reply
  99. Call your Public Authority, they will direct you.

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  100. You can’t get paid in California if you live in the same home.

    Reply
    • THAT IS NOT TRUE!! Smh I am 36 years old and I live in California BORN AND RAISED here in Compton, Long Beach yet I have Sickle Cell Anemia and as a child my mom got SSI for me and she did my In-Home Support Services!! Obviously I had to LIVE WITH HER if I was a minor and now at 36 I am a nurse who still receive Medical due to my disabilfrom my sickle cell and my 14 year o,d son does my In-Home Support Services now!! So that comment you made IS A LIE because YOU CAN LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSEHOLD to get the In-Home Support Services!!

      Reply
  101. No. Nor do family caregivers get credits towards social security so when we become disabled after saving the health care system millions of dollars we are screwed.

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  102. You get paid in New York also not much 10 dollars a hour

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    • who do I contact to get paid for caring for my mother and step father in NYS?

      Reply
  103. You can get paid by the state in Connecticut.

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  104. I’m currently a caregiver to my c5 quadriplegic fiancé going on almost two years now. I’m 24/7 personal care for him. I’m going into our second year battling Medicaid Waiver (KY). They upped the ante this year with fingerprinting (full background check), TB test, CPR certification, Family Letter – if you are related or spouse of recipient – to explain why you are the best choice to look after your loved one and be paid. You must pay for all these things too out of pocket.

    So we wait going on 3 months now – not being paid during recertification. It’s very, very tough. I get about half what my fiancé gets in SSI. We live with my retired Dad and grown son who works to pay the bills. It’s not much but I’m thankful for the little I get… yet still waiting!

    Reply
  105. When I started caring for my mom after the first of five strokes we lived comfortably financially. Now 7 1/2 years later we’ve sold everything and now live at the poverty level since I had to quit working. I live in California and she would qualify for In Home Services through Medi-Cal but she would have to give up all but $90 of her VA benefits which help to pay a portion of the rent. I am working on starting a nonprofit organization that will serve as a resource for caregivers including financial assistance. Good job and a heartfelt hug to those of you who sacrifice for your loved ones.

    Reply
  106. I live in PA and am my sons (19) paid caregiver. It’s through the Medicaid waiver program. Very fortunate to have this!

    Reply
    • I’ve gone to Agency on Aging and they refuse to help my very poor parents with help applying for this. Any advice in PA

      Reply
      • I’m searching myself. Why aren’t spouse allowed to be paid in Pennsylvania? Pennsylvania is horrible with helping people. Look at the articles on DHS – system that some children fall into and are forgotten about till its too late.

    • Jacqueline Ann It’s been a while since I started the paperwork. I had to pick a service coordinator. Have you tried contacting COSA in PA?

      Reply
    • That’s how I am also paid here in Maryland. My son is 24 and has cerebral palsy. It was a long process but worth it.

      Reply
  107. Here in New Mexico if you have a disabled child over 18 the state pays a generous monthly stipend to care for your loved one. I read the article and realized how fortunate I am to live in a state that does pay for care.

    Reply
    • INDEED YOU ARE, IN TEXAS THEY ARE PRETTY TIGHT WITH ANY HELP.

      Reply
    • I’m in Maryland and get paid. I exhausted all options and finally left my job to care for my son. It is a blessing that this is available.

      Reply
  108. Hello, I live in Georgia ,my husband have had stroke and I need to work, but can’t cause his memory is not good and he walk really slow ,how can I get paid or get a caregiver to get paid to help me so I can go to work, I can’t even find a support group, or nothing ,,,I thought Social Security paid for caregivers, help with any information

    Reply
    • Did you contact social security? You’d need to apply for benefits.

      Reply
    • Also contact the agency for persons with disabilities. They can point you in the right direction.

      Reply
  109. My mother can not take care of herself. She needs full times assistance. I’ve heard of many different programs and many states where the state pays family members to care for the senior love ones. Because my mother refuses other to care for her, I am seeking to see if there is such program that will pay me or any of my family members to care for my mother before we let go of our job, as we are taking turns to care for her and it has become very difficult as most of us work day where no one is available.

    Reply
  110. Seeking help in caring for my brother. 20 year veteran of the Navy- 48 years old facing esophageal and colon cancer with possible mets to spleen and stomach.he is a non drinker, non smoker and never did drugs. I am his younger sister and a nurse. Trying to care for him with the highest standards and prefer to care for him myself. Having difficulty balancing my own family expenses and caring for and supporting him at the same time. Any advice or direction would be helpful. Plus we lost our father suddenly at a young age 11 and 17 from a heart attack our mother worked to support us. we have both worked hard all our lives. Don’t want a free ride just want to do what’s best for him.

    Reply
    • Karen Call the Veteran Office 1-877-222-8387 push option 2 the will be able to helpyou.

      Reply
  111. Hello I am Sherri,
    I live in Ohio I was wondering how I would go about to get paid for taking care of my 77 year old mother. She has been handicap since 1987 due to major back problems, she has had many surgeries and nothing helps. She has now been in a wheelchair for 20 years. I do work full time and can’t afford to quit my job, my sister passed away 3 years ago which she was taking care of my mother. Now I am working 6am-2pm I get off of work and go to mother’s. My marriage is falling apart do to not enough hours in the day. Pleases how can I get paid to take care of her and feel comfortable give my job up. Please help me.

    Reply
  112. Another poster replied about IHSS in California. Before moving to Hawaii a few years ago, I was an IHSS (protective supervision w/personal care services) caregiver (union worker) for my adult autistic son. We were finger printed and required to go through training. The pay really helped make ends meet since I’m his full time primary caregiver, 24/7 & unable to work. It is a great program and I missed out on the overtime pay which went into affect a few months after I moved. This money BTW is tax exempt. So here we are in Hawaii, had some family obligations to take care of and they don’t have IHSS here & we are STRUGGLING so bad. The cost of living is SO HIGH here and his SSI pay is $100+ less than in California, though he can get SNAP which I will apply for this week. The only program available here in Hawaii is called Consumer Directed Personal Service, which To my understanding is paid by Medicaid Waiver. I haven’t had much luck in getting anywhere with this program, so I’m not sure it’s very utilized? But it would be perfect for us since I’m taking care of my son who not only is autistic but has a medical condition and is up for days on end. Being he needs 24/7 supervision & CAN NOT be left alone, this is such a financial burden on my family. IHSS in California was very helpful and I most likely will need to move back leaving my parents & family behind. Hawaii needs to seriously check out California’s IHSS program & model a program accordingly.

    Reply
  113. If you care for a loved one in Massachusetts, you can receive a tax free stipend each month. Call Beyond Independent Living today. If you live with your loved one and they qualify, you can start receiving an income right away! Call them at 781.281.1117.

    Reply
    • Thanks for sharing this!

      Reply
  114. Why Does he have no income? Any savings? Anything at all, IRAs? He should be eligible for something, being blind, some kind of disability. So sad, at such a young age! I think you should find out from one of his doctors, they could direct you. My friends mother went blind and she was eligible for assisted living, you might want to contact an organization for the blind right away!

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  115. Hello! I live in the state of New Jersey, and I know a lot of people are being cared for that are elderly. I have a slightly different situation. My dad has diabetes. He’s 43. I’m 23, with my own child. With a heavy heart my dad over the past years has had a decline in eyesight. He’s actually now legally blind. He has a girlfriend, but she’s off doing her own things trying to provide for him but she can’t take care of him or else they’ll lose the house. So, within the next few months I will be setting up and moving into their house so I can take care of my blind father while she’s working two full-time jobs, and he needs to be driven to heart doctors and all kind of doctor’s appointments on a monthly basis. I quit my job so I can prepare for this huge huge transition in life. I love my dad and I will do everything I can to help him I’ve actually had medical training as a medical, clinical assistant for 3 years. I know that his girlfriend can’t support him, myself, and my almost 3 year old son. I THINK he has Medicaid, and he himself has no income what so ever. Does he qualify for assistance? It would help me greatly to at least provide something for my son while I’m taking care of my father, and my son.

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    • Samantha your dad should be eligible for disability because I have a blind friend who draws social security disability so go to your nearest social security office abd apply for his benefits.also the state should have a program that would pay you for your provider services as a caretaker…hope this helps

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  116. Hello!
    My husband has stage IV bladder cancer and I had to leave my job last month to stay home to care for him. We are in New York. Are there any programs in New York that will pay me to care for him? Or perhaps his mom? It would be tight in our 1bdrm but I can move his mother in to take care of him if I can go back to work but she would have to leave her job to do so. Thank you.

    Reply
    • Hi Natasha, the program locator can help you see what you might qualify for: http://www.payingforseniorcare.com/paid-caregiver/program-locator.html

      Renovations to your home to make it accessible are tax deductible and there are a few programs out there that help cover the costs, but they’re few and far between. Oftentimes people rely on small, local fundraisers.

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  117. I’m a caregiver in Will County Illinois & Absolutely Love my job if anyone is in NEED of my services please contact me ….
    Denise
    815-529-1500

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  118. I live in Pennsylvania, I have an adult child 32 who is in and out of the Psych Hosp. Anyone know who to contact to get help in being her full-time caregiver and getting paid for it. I just can’t quit my job and take care of her, I do need a pay check.

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  119. Kamara, I dont know if You still enter here to Read the comments, but Just in Case, I am leaving a Reply. I know that in California they have IHSS, but like You said, the system is Broken because Social workers that do the Paper Work only want Pay for little hours and You Always have to fight the System to get Paid more hours. The program is called in-home-supportive-services. You can apply by calling them. I know what it is to Not have family or friends. It seems that even GOD forgets about you, or me, or whomever is in a similar situation. Is almost like to have to Heartless to be loved and Admired by Everyone, including God. You have to be Heartless. I dont know what to tell You because You Can Get Paid in California, but moving is another story. Try finding affordable housing anywhere these days. Americans breath GREED.

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  120. Rob Hoop, Yes, there is. It is called IHSS in-home-supportive services. Contact them by getting their phone number on the Web, google search for your county/city.

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  121. My wife is 54 and 100% disabled due to brain tumors. Needs 24 hour care at home. Had to quit my job 6 months ago. Anthing in Calirnia that can help? She is receiving pre 65/disability medicare. Anything in California that can pay me to provide care?

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  122. I would love someone to take care of me my sister my mommy and daddy love Kelly Bulanek

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  123. Is there anything in TN for caring for disabled child?

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  124. Is there any help to get paid in Massachusetts while taking care of a spouse who has cancer and blood clots…….he needs IVS and shots at all hours of the day so there is no way to go outside the house for me to earn a living……he is on disability but that doesn’t touch what he was bringing in so naturally the bills are adding up and I can’t leave him to work outside the house

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  125. Is there any help in TN? I take care of my husband who has end stage renal failure n is on dialysis, has had 2 toes amputated due to diabetes n several other diseases due to diabetes. Any help appreciated. Ty

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  126. Hi Cori Carl.I live in Pennsylvania and rake care if my mom on a daily basis. She has dementia And trying to find an affordable caregiver is very hard. I do work full time but asked if they would lay me off until we can find someone to help my mom. Its pretty much just me and my 77 year old father and there is going to come a time when my job is going to want me back to work.I would love to become my mom’s full time caretaker until we have to place her in a nh. Are you familiar if there are any programs in Berks Co. Pennsylvania that I can turn to to get paid for being her caretaker? At thus point we are getting desperate because she will need 24 hour care while she’s home. Feed back us very welcome.

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  127. I’m in the state of virginia my husband 57 has vascular demrnita has had a heart attack also has to have several surgeries I’ve had to quit my job to stay at home we are struggling bad is there any help in the state of virginia

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    • Virginia provides respite care through their Family Caregiver Support Program for:
      – Family caregivers providing care for individuals age 60 or older;
      – Family caregivers providing care for individuals with Alzheimer’s disease and related disorders, regardless of age
      You can find more information here:

      There’s also information on programs providing respite waivers here: http://archrespite.org/images/state_pdf/medicaid/virginia.pdf

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  128. I guess I am lucky. I get paid pretty well for staying home and taking care of my daughter. I have had my CNA license for 26 years and when we kept losing the CNAs that cared for her while we were at work I asked if I could do it and Interim healthcare said that I could. I have been doing this for over two years now. I am in Colorado and part of the HCBS (home consumer based services). If you have an HCBS service in your state it does pay for you to take care of your loved one if you qualify.

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  129. if u are a family member and caring for your own disabled child , you don’t make 900. or even 1,200. a month!!!!!!!!! the only ppl that get that pay is ppl in a nursing home that care for your family , ( abuse your family more like it) !. but they wont pay u the same thing because your a family member!!!!!! this is b.s. !! the most you will get payed for tKEN CARE OF A FAMILY MEMBER IS 300 OR LESS!. WHY IS THAT!??????????? WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET PAYED THE SAME AS THE WORKER’S IN A LIVEING CENTER OR NURSEING HOME !!!!!!! BUT WE DONT!!!!!!! WHY???????????????????????

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    • I’m not sure where you’re getting your information about nursing home staff, but it’s not accurate. Professional aids are in the news because they’re dramatically underpaid and underappreciated.

      Some of these programs provide grants or stipends as financial support for caregivers, while others do pay caregivers the same amount as a non-relative would be paid to do the same job. Family caregivers don’t get paid because the US is a federal presidential constitutional republic with does not guarantee citizens healthcare, employment, housing, or a basic standard of living. However, this system gives people like you the right to vote and campaign for support for those things. If you want financial support, I would suggest you start with contacting your local government officials.

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  130. i took care of my husband for 15 years and i am angry that i got no help at all. Va benefits paid his hospital and all the other stuff BUT we never got married until the end so I can not get anything at all. So here I am at 57 and in a town where jobs are non existence. My income went to $60 a month from a pension I get. I am not eligible for his Social Security until age 60.and then I can’t get it on his earnings it will be from my 1st husband who never worked at all. I have lost everything I had and live with my dad. When you are so devoted to someone for that length of time there should be help to get a new life started. Instead the Area Agency on Aging lied to me and said there where no programs where there were. I’m just angry about that. His super rich daughter gave no help at all but said not to worry she would help. Instead I got the bills for everything while she sits and pays nothing.

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  131. Hi I’m terry dean and my husband lost his lft leg due to diabetes complications as well as microvascular disease plus renal failure which he’s been on dialysis for 5 yrs and as told he has less than ten yrs left to live due to his vascular disease so he’s been bedridden and refuses for me to have anyone help him out . So I’m his primary caregiver which I really didn’t want to take on bc I knew it was too much stress on me bc he calls me wherever I am whether it’s in the bathroom or driving which infact there’s a law stating ur not to be driving while on the phone bc of distraction which he’s done that a already and almost caused me several accidents. I can’t deal with this but he refuses to go to hospital to get checked out and I havoc no one to help me out so what do I do bc he’s just gotten his leg and they suggested he goes in for inpatient therapy which he refused on so I’m really stressed out and really needs major break from it all HELP ME!!!!!!!! Ty

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    • Hi Terry,

      We have a spousal care support group that you might find helpful. We also have a caregiver guilt support group – I think you and Adrienne will really be able to relate, since she also cared for a husband who refused outside help.

      Regarding the phone calls, ultimately it’s your choice to answer the phone. If you were to be in an accident, the police officers wouldn’t blame your husband for the accident, they would hold you responsible. If your husband is refusing treatment and you are not legally responsible for his behavior, since he isn’t mentally incapable of making medical decisions, then that’s his decision. It’s your decision to care for him and make yourself feel responsible for his health and his troublesome behavior. Caring for your husband is a great thing and an expression of love, but it’s not sustainable without putting boundaries in place to protect yourself from burnout. Being with someone “in sickness and in health” doesn’t have to go so far that you become sick yourself because he has made the choice to refuse outside help and not allow himself to be treated for his health conditions. Just like your husband has to decide to accept help, you have to decide to help yourself. It sounds like you’re on the road to being so burnt out you can’t care for him or care for yourself.

      The hospital that’s treating your husband can connect you with social workers who can help you navigate the programs you might be eligible for to find respite care and support for both you and your husband.

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  132. Cori Carl is there a reason you haven’t responded to any of my posts?

    At the time I really needed some advice and help.

    Now, after everything has come back on me once again and my mom has been in the last hospital in the state that could but won’t find out what’s causing her symptoms I am left the only one who she has to live with.

    I am still in need of someone to help. I have researched every possible place I could find to get some kind of help so she can live with me. And I can care for her. She was getting better when she was with family and in a familiar place. No meds no lock down just us.

    The financial strain has caused my family to much stress and any friends or other family has turned their backs.

    You’ve responded to most of the people on here and now after giving up I am trying again to see if I get any responses.

    Reply
    • Hi Kamara, your best bet is to talk to a social worker in your area. We just published a blog on the different elder care specialists and Payingforseniorcare.com is a great resource for sorting through the different programs. Each case is very different, so I can’t give every person who reads this article personal advice.

      I would also suggest joining a support group, either here at The Caregiver Space, or locally in Oregon.

      I’m sorry that you hold The Caregiver Space and me personally responsible for the lack of support you and your mom are receiving and the demise of your marriage, but if the community here at The Caregiver Space were in charge of legislation there would be a lot more support for family and professional caregivers. That’s why Adrienne founded this site and why so many of us are working so hard to advocate for caregivers and connect them to the few resources that do exist in the US.

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  133. Hi, Please check into the Katie Beckett Medicaid program. It is not based on income, only the severity of the child’s disability. We have it for our daughter and we would be bankrupt without it.

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  134. Hello, I have been looking after my dad for 3 years now..I can’t work full time..I am struggling financially…I live in Toronto Canada is there any help for someone like me? Thank you.

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    • Service Canada provides information about services in Ontario. This article also lays out the various programs that may help. Hopefully I’ll get a chance to write a version of this article for Canada soon. : )

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  135. Yes you can hire out of Heartland Cargivers they are nation wide but home office is in Montana

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  136. I am my adult son’s fulltime caregiver. I live in California, and as soon as he came home from the nursing home where he had been for 18 months, I applied to IHSS. He was granted a certain number of hours of care per month, which was a tiny fraction of the time that was necessary, so I requested a State hearing (a 3-way phone hearing – IHSS personnel, Administrative Law Judge, and me (at home with my son). He was granted protective supervision, and I began being paid the same as an almost fulltime job. About a year later I got on the Waiver program, which subsidizes the hours IHSS grants. Whenever IHSS would decide to reduce his hours, the Waiver program would pick up those hours and I’d be paid the same. As of January 1st, 2015, the pay rules have changed for California in home health providers. We get paid for a 40 hour week, and can only get paid for an additional 26 hrs a week in overtime. My son still has care hours that I won’t use, so my husband will become an IHSS provider and pick up those hours. It DOES work – sometimes it requires a little legwork/phonework/etc, but it DOES work.

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    • That’s great to hear, Valerie! I’m impressed that you got past all the red tape and glad to hear you and your husband are able to get the support you deserve to care for your son.

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  137. I became a primary caregiver for my mother 18 years after she had a massive stroke. She has vascular dementia, is cognitively impaired, blind, paralyzed, etc. She lives with me and I provide all aspects of care. During some of the past 18 years, I also took care of my father who had bipolar disorder and Alzheimer’s. I’ve also assisted with the care of 3 out of 4 grandparents, 2 of whom were still living at the time of my mother’s stroke. And I have a daughter with bipolar disorder and other chronic illnesses. Thankfully she is currently stable on medications, but there have been times when that was not the case and it almost killed me. I work full-time as a nurse–while I’m working my sister or a paid caregiver stays with my mother. I have 2 sisters with bipolar disorder who are unable to help at all. I feel like I spend all my time taking care of everyone. I try to take care of myself, too, but how? There is no help. There is no support. There is definitely no financial assistance. I could consult an eldercare attorney, “spend down” my mother’s assets so that she qualifies for Medicaid and put her in a nursing home. Then the government would pay for her care. But I will never do that. Over the years, I’ve saved “the system” millions of dollars with the care I provide but I can’t be reimbursed for a penny. Not only that, there are no tax breaks. And yes, I think that’s unfair, but I see the other side, too. Every day as a nurse, I see adult children who claim to be their parents’ caregivers, when they are actually using their parent(s). They fail to provide adequate care, often steal their narcotics, live off them, and refuse to put them into a care facility because that would mean losing their check.. So while I can strongly believe that true family caregivers deserve some kind of compensation, I can also see how distinguishing legitimate caregivers from the dishonest, manipulative, exploitive ones could be very difficult. More money for them would only make them even sorrier and allow them to buy more drugs, alcohol and cigarettes, etc. And if your care recipient is a veteran, you may actually be eligible for assistance through the VA. Assist your care recipient to apply for caregiver benefits. That’s all I have to say about that.

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  138. Well no point in posting again. Didn’t get any responses. Still no help so I can care for my mom. Who is now not being helped by the last hospital in Oregon and it has come full circle back to me. And I am being forced to choose her or my husband. The financial strain we had has literally torn my family apart and there are no programs or anyone to help. Thanks for posting this with more empty promises.

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  139. Here in N.Y. you can get paid to care for any family member except your spouse or child. I am try to change the way N.Y. does things. I am a mom of a 31 year old disabled adult child. I desperately want to keep her home with me. I have been working with our local assembly to draft a bill to present to the legislation in January. If they were to pay parents of disabled adult children that is a child 18 or over N.Y. could potential save a lot of money. I have started a group page called A Parents Mission To Keep Their Disabled Adult Child At Home. Trying to get stories from parents and how other states implement their program they have in place to allow parents to do this. Go check out my page. You do have to ask to join but once I accept your request you will be able to see the contents of the page and make comments of you wish.

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    • Doris, where is this page you have. I googleds it and did not find it. I have an adult TBI son at home and I have all the issues you state and then some. I have said many times there needs to be a picket or some masses going to Albany or even D.D to let OUR voices be heard. Can you please provide the link??

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  140. This discussion is a confirmation of the last 9 months that have literally changed my life forever. But what needs to happen is those that are controlling who gets paid for what, how much and when need to listen and understand that although they think they are somehow doing their jobs by having endless amounts of information on the web for resources/programs/whatever its all smoke and mirrors. If they were in my situation i can bet you money things would change. My mom is not just a file in some cabinet with an assigned # that those in control of her future happiness will never see her face. Knowing, that because I am not rich and like a lot of people don’t have some stockpile of money to up and move to a house big enough so my mom can live with us, my mom isn’t getting better until she’s with her family, tears me up with regret and failure every minute of every day. Those well worded pages on the internet filled with empty promises is directly hurting my mom and nobody cares about her life except me. The system is a failure and human life and recovery are not the priority of any of the people that can change it. these discussion groups are nice to a point. After hearing all the stories just like mine and all the references to resources not available to anyone it becomes a monotonous hum that only throws salt on my already open wounds. I haven’t talked to my ‘mom’ in 2 months. she and i talked everyday. All my mom ever wanted was to live her life as she wanted and be happy. she led her life as an RN to serve others and now when she needs it the most she is left to be confined and controlled by drs that have admitted they don’t have the time she needs and if the usual pills can’t help her she is deemed unhelpable. I have been shut out by those ‘professionals’ in control of her well being more times than i care to remember all while they continue to ignore any information i provide and continue with their closed minded path that has already been proven won’t help my mom. We can talk until we die and nothing will change until someone steps outside their safe little box of lies and opens their eyes to see what is actually going on in the lives of so many people being labeled and forgotten. My mother has always protected and cared for me and now when she needs it in return i am unable to save her from a system of broken bureaucrats playing puppeteer with helpless lives.

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  141. We are fighting with my SIL guardian of property to get a stipend for her care. My SIL can afford to pay us and needs 24 hour care. We have PT caregivers, but I refuse to have someone in our house all the time. We are just trying to get a stipend that will pay enough for the weekend and morning work we do. It is impossible to have us both working and to care for her, and our 2 children.

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  142. Although my Mom qualified for VA Aid and Attendance, the VA required a FIDUCIARY in order for her to actually get it, and they wanted someone other than me (her caregiver) to be the Fiduciary. My sister got control of the money and the next thing she has filed for Guardian and has moved my Mom to another state. Be WARY of family who has all the control….be WARY of VA Fiduciary program and be WARY of SS program representative payees!!

    I was paid for 8.5 hrs a week as a live in caregiver through Medicaid, because I was family, but they would pay a stranger for 40 hrs week. Doesn’t make sense but at least I got that! (in Colorado)

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  143. and now to top everything off. The dr has informed me just yesterday that they are planning on transitioning my mom back into society. When I asked about the alternative approaches I’ve heard of and their hospital has on the website, she admitted that pharmaceuticals are easier and they don’t have time to figure out what’s causing this and treat her for it. So basically now we are back to square one except this time i am totally and completely alone. And I can’t do this alone. My husband is not going to agree to move to a bigger house or even if we did have a bigger house he doesn’t want my mom living with us. The dr seems to think that an adult foster care place will take her. Well as it has gone and because myself and social workers and the director of a nursing home tried to find a place, my moms psychosis is not appropriate for any faculty that isn’t locked. Even though she is not violent or even angry. She will leave for sure. She doesn’t waNder she has a plan that her voices direct and she sticks to it. Regardless I am left to deal with this situation that has torn me apart and now not only have I lost my mom I’ve lost my husband and now I have no family or friends that support me and I’m so depressed I just want to be gone. In a world where the rich get richer and everyone else stays on bottom there’s a whole lot of stuff saying that family caregivers are vital etc etc etc it’s complete crap. Nobody gives any mjnd to that being someone’s mom or dad that they just so carelessly ignore and follow their stupid guidelines. This situation is one that I cannot see a way out of that’s good for anyone. Am I supposed to just turn my back and never think about my mom again? Did the dr really just say they won’t take the time or other alternatives for the sake of my moms sanity? especially when my mom has no family history of such. I am at a loss

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  144. I really wish one of those programs would help. In Oregon not one program would help me take care of my mom. Adult day care was not an option as she would not go in the car. Adult and family services drug their feet so long that by the time the worker for around to giving me information about home health that would pay me to care for her after I took a class it was to late. I had to ask the worker how much they’d pay – $853 a month. The system is not as it is written. The national association for family caregivers gives each state money to pay family care givers. But it’s up to the state to decide how that money is distributed. And well as I found out the hard way, the state does what it wants and family caregivers are SOL. I have been through literally the last 6 months of the worst hell I’ve ever been in. Not only did I endure watching my once perfectly normal mom lose the home she owned due to a underhanded city employee in charge of the grant to fix her wiring in the 100yr old house she’s owned in tacoma wa for over 20 yrs. I came face to face with the realization that in the worst of times you really find out who UR friends are and sadly who UR family isn’t. I not only lost my mom to major depression and psychosis I am losing my husband of 17 yrs. the financial and emotional strain of me trying to take care of my mom created a vortex of events that have destroyed my life. I tried to be proactive in the beginning by researching anythkng and everything I could about resources and to learn what I was facing with my mom. Not only did every single thing I read blow up in my face but there was not one dr or hospital that was willing to take the time to find out what caused my moms sudden onset of symptoms and since I was to concerned even the drs began to not want to talk to me and not listen to pertinent medical history that was needed in order to properly diagnose her. From Washington state to oregon I have hit brick wall after brick wall. Although I found oregons dr to be more compassionate and act like they listened not one tried anything but the easiest – pharmaceuticals. Faced with something I could have never even known I needed to prepare for I was left literally alone crying every night. How can there be so much literature and promises that have no intention on helping? The programs have such tight guidelines it’s impossible to qualify. It’s a joke. The system is corrupt and my mom is now suffering. I have had to call the police to take my mom to the hospital out of desperation. Every thing I read about my moms sudden onset of psychosis and her age and her medical history was to immediately seek medical help and have tests done. Well along with my moms new found state of mind she was not cooperative and it wasn’t until shortly before I had given up that one hospital did do some tests. Basic tests. And of course as my mom goes those were fine. One dr actually told me her vitamin d was low but he wasn’t concerned and he didn’t think it was coping and talk therapy and vitamins won’t help!!! Well in the time she was living with me I found out the opposite. But with my husband now not supporting me and making the situation so difficult I contemplated taking the easy way out and let my depression take over. Instead I called the local police who knew me well by now and my mom to come get her. This time she was willing to come home with me. The first time she was willing and I wasn’t. The feeling of knowing that literally sent me into uncontrollable sobbing hysterics. As I watched them put her in their car I realized I’m never going to talk to my mom again. And as the hospitals make it I won’t see her either. The hospitals like to think that if a pt says they don’t want to see someone that’s it. The patients have rights. Even when my mom has people talking to her in her head and cannot handle any kind of stress. Now it’s been almost 2 months and my mom has been in the state hospital Gero psych unit being given forced antipsychotics that are not helping. She is not getting any better and as I saw first hand my mom isn’t as out of it as she’d like U to think. U see the premise is that my mom is normally a very opinionated strong willed eccentric person. Being an RN for over 30 yrs she knows her way around hospitals and on a good day she hates them and is a horrible pt. She has always told me she does not want to be put in a home when she’s old. Well I tried. I failed. I blame myself for trusting the man I married and a system that judges people’s lives through shuffling papers and paying empty minded people to decide the fate of the people who gave us life. It’s sick. It’s cold. It benefits nobody. Oh and to add insult to injury dhs only gave her $15 in foodstamps and senior and disabled said she wasn’t approved for medicaid! Only after this last hospital stay did she suddenly get approved!!! I’m only skimming the story. From being a perfectly sane grandma to hiding in her own mind to save her life, I am now faced once again to choose between my husband and my mom. Because surprise surprise the hospital she’s in can’t helP her and want to discharge her soon. Their suggesting an adult foster care place or with me is my suggestion. Adult foster care is just another unfamiliar place where nobody knows my mom and she will not respond to. And with me as it stands is not happening due to still not enough room and my unwilling husband to help me save the only mom I have. So you tell me how any of those listed resources has an intention of actually helping me save my mom? Because as of now, I’m facing something I can’t do alone and am forced to become numb and not think about how much of a failure I am. The feeling I have come to be all to familiar with is loneliness. Invisible in a room full of people. Please don’t talk as if any of those programs can or will help anyone. The system has failed us so entirely it should be illegal. The national family caregiver association needs to be called on their promise to help people like me and make the states put the $ where it’s supposed to go. Or do it themselves. Because right at this point the only thing that would save my mom is somehow I was able to live in a bigger place and not have to worry about money. If the homes can charge $4000 or more a month then how is it even right to disregard the alternative of family taking care of a loved one. Especially since all the literature states it’s a proven fact that it’s better for the person to be with family etc??? Something’s wrong and it’s costing me my mom and my family is forever scarred.

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  145. My son is a non-verbal severely autistic 9 year old. During the first 2 years of his life my husband and I went into debt by $50K. We couldn’t get help from any programs because we supposedly made to much money. I gave up my career as a police officer because he needs 24/7 care. We decided to sacrifice our time together and my hubby went over seas to work to get us out of debt. His visits home were once a year for 14 days. The past 2 years he hasn’t been able to come home at all. We are out of debt and plan on paying off our home and vehicles. We paid upwards of $50K a year on taxes. What’s disgusting is that my son doesn’t qualify for ANY of the programs that our tax money pays for. I suffer from anxiety disorder due to getting beat up on a regular basis by my baby boy. My hubby suffers from PTSD from being a contractor in a war zone without a break. My oldest son is 22 and came home to live with us 3 years ago in order to help me with his brother. He is in his last semester of college for his AA degree. It took him 3 years to get a 2 year degree because of us. He has no friends, doesn’t go out and is available 24/7 in case of outburst. We all have sacrificed so much and paid out huge money to try and get ahead. When my husband is able to finally come home, we are worried about healthcare for our son. Who knows how long it will take for him to find a job here in MO. If we keep our savings for our sons future care as an adult, we are punished by the government which is why we decided to pay off everything as soon as hubby comes home. Then we will be back in debt due to extra therapies and medical not covered by insurance. My son has a definite lifetime disability but still does not qualify for disability payments or Medicare or food stamps! Our system is broken and my son should not have to suffer because of it. Yes I have become very very bitter. What can we do?

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  146. My father has a non service related disability at 100%. It took us a long time but we found out through Ed Outland, who has a local legal/financial assistance group and a weekly spot on the radio, about three VA’s Aid & Attendance. Even VA representatives in the VA office knew nothing about it, or mentioned nothing. Once all the paperwork was submitted and he revoked our previous lame attempt at Getting in the system w a tinnitus claim as per suggestion of the VA representative, we FINALLY got approved.
    You can’t apply for aid AND pensions.
    Veterans and their spouses are eligible for this service, whether their disabilities are service connected or not. It’s how many care homes get under-funded elders to qualify.
    Thank God for this. He gets social security, but the thing with aid and attendance is it is the ONE service that doesn’t just look at your gross income but takes your medical/care expenses into the biggest consideration.
    Anyone having difficulty should contact Ed Outlands group. I don’t have the contact info but he’s google-able, in Fair Oaks, CA, and his help with Aid & Attendance is legally mandated to be free.

    Reply
    • I live in Texas and have been caring for my husband for 3.5 years , after an infection in his brain ,leading to a massive stroke , i have been going on the roller coaster ride with the VA about aid and attendance and non service disability …have gotten so many different answers to the same questions , makes me want to give up … he needs total 24 hr. care , can’t afford to pay 20 an hr. for help , just barely getting by …I am going to try to contact this guy . any other words of wisdom will be greatly appreciated … thanks for a ray of hope ..

      Reply
  147. I take care of my daughter who was in a car accident, and has tramatic brain injury, she cannot talk, or walk on her own, and she wears diapers. She is on the list for the Tramatic brain injury and Spinal cord trust fund, problem is, they still in April of 2008, what a crock, if you ask me. There is no help for families. I quit my job to take care of her, and have been doing that for 4 years now. she recieves her disability check and thats how we live. It is hard, and they should pay family members to help take care of there children, it makes no sense to me.

    Reply
  148. The answer is no. There are no programs that will help. There is a lot of propaganda online that sounds great. Like all the ones listed here. None of which will. There is a national family caregiver association that gives each state the funds for the purpose of helping family caregivers financially. The really screwed up thing is that each state decides where the funds go. Not the association. In Oregon where I live I have found it to be the worst state in this area for helping family caregivers take care of their loved ones.

    Reply
  149. magnificent submit, very informative. I’m wondering why the other specialists of this sector do not notice this.
    You should continue your writing. I’m sure, you have a huge
    readers’ base already!

    Reply
  150. DNA stands for ‘do not announce’ which is available to patients which can be hidden from
    public view. Violation of medical standards: The medical
    or medical care provider did not conform for the appropriate standard
    of care. There could possibly be important ethical
    distinctions, as an example, one of the following groups: U.

    Reply
  151. illinois does not allow family to be paid for caregiving. I had to hire caregivers to be with my husband while I work outside the home. His care is covered by Medicaid, but there is no help with the medical bills (not paid by insurance) and medications. I am 62 and ready to be not working, but that is a long time away now. Recently lost my job cause caregiver was not reliable, now looking for work and having to explain why I was let go…hard for an employer to trust I will be at work every day.

    Reply
  152. Hi , I am a full time RN. I live in Lexington SC. My dad needs around the clock care when at home , so I work Fri and Sat night at a hospital them drive to Sumter SC where my parents live during the week to care for him while my mom works. Are there any programs that you know of that could help me. Thanks.

    Reply
    • Hi Meagan, because programs are so specific to people’s circumstances and location, it’s really best to talk to someone locally to find the programs that might be available to you. If you speak with the hospital staff, they should be able to put you in touch with a social worker and/or a patient advocate who can help you wade through the different smaller programs and the eligibility requirements.

      Reply
      • I had to say this. Social workers or case managers or hospital advacates no nothing about programs or anything and they rarely followup with care besides an automated survey. That’s why there are so many bounce backs to hospitals.

      • Agreed. Some social workers are incredibly knowledgeable, others are not. So much of the problem is that the help available varies so much from person to person, when everyone deserves support.

  153. I have found absolutely no help, financial because ? Companies won’t hire if you’re unable to work evenings for one thing.I am struggling to find a job at my age to be able to pay the utilities for the household and don’t want to leave my elderly parent alone at night. My mom is okay during the daytime, daily visits from meals on wheels, able to make or receive phone calls, but night time is different. She won’t fill out all the lengthy paper work, gets frustrated, for any type of assistance for home improvements such as roof repairs, insulation or replace old drafty windows so it is my responsibility to take care of these the best I can.She has SSI and in most instances it’s considered enough income. Agencies want you to be dirt poor, I mean have absolutely no savings before they will assist, and then there is a lot of jumping through hoops into brick walls. Companies aren’t as willing to be flexible as one would think, or hope. Try getting financial, food or assistance for home, it’s not easy at all. Why must an adult child have to be certified by a county or state to receive some type of help. Who better to take care of a loving parent than their own family.

    Reply
    • Lori – your comment almost sounds like my situation exactly. I have extensive experience in Purchasing but no one will hire me because I can’t be away from home 40 hours a week. So I am broke but I am taking good care of my mom. I think it’s disgraceful how this country treats it’s caregivers.

      Reply

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