I thought it’d be a relief when it was over. Not that I wanted it to end, but I wanted the suffering to stop. I was tired, he was tired. But that’s not how I feel now.

I wish we could go back, even to the worst parts. I miss every moment. I just want him back here with me, no matter how bad it is. I thought it was hard to be on call all day and night, for weeks and months and years without stopping. Having more and more responsibility put on me. Less and less help. Less and less support. With my friends all forgetting I exist, awkwardly avoiding me the rare times I’d get out of the house to run an errand.

Now there’s nothing. Just the paperwork. The blank space. The things to dispose of.

What would I give for one more day? Everything.

J.H.

Written by Guest Author
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18 Comments

  1. To all of us ❤️

    Reply
  2. To all of us ❤️

    Reply
  3. It’s been hard. I’ve made a new life but there is always this emptiness that overcomes me.

    Reply
  4. It’s been hard. I’ve made a new life but there is always this emptiness that overcomes me.

    Reply
  5. Say what you will, I was relieved. Totally.

    Reply
    • I understand Carole. I’m taking care of my mom. Some days, for her, I wish it was over, yet I don’t want to give her up. I really don’t know what I will do when she is gone. I’ve gotten so use to not being able to do certain things, free time and such. At my age there’s no telling what’s going to happen, I don’t have many years ahead either. I’m glad you’re doing well.

      Reply
  6. Say what you will, I was relieved. Totally.

    Reply
    • I understand Carole. I’m taking care of my mom. Some days, for her, I wish it was over, yet I don’t want to give her up. I really don’t know what I will do when she is gone. I’ve gotten so use to not being able to do certain things, free time and such. At my age there’s no telling what’s going to happen, I don’t have many years ahead either. I’m glad you’re doing well.

      Reply
    • Lori Clinton-Holmquist – I wish you all the best, Lori. I took care of my dad for 6 years, the last three fairly hard core. I was so afraid I’d break down physically before it was all over with. I loved my parents to pieces, but knew I would need to be in good enough shape to live a full life after they were gone. Thankfully it looks like that will be the case.

      Reply
  7. I thought so to.but would give .anything to have my mom.and husband back
    I would still take care of them

    Reply
  8. I thought so to.but would give .anything to have my mom.and husband back
    I would still take care of them

    Reply
  9. For me my life filled back up. I don’t know how I did what I did.

    Reply
  10. For me my life filled back up. I don’t know how I did what I did.

    Reply
  11. My situation is a little different, I had to give up caring for my soon to be 50 year old quadriplegic daughter. I’m soon to be 67 & my doctors will no longer allow me to be a caregiver to her. We were fortunate enough to be able to provide her with her own home & 24hr care! She has great aids, but miss caring for her very much! I thought I would be able to jump back into my old life & go about life as back to usual! Not so, once a caregiver always a caregiver. We either have it in our DNA or we don’t . I now enjoy helping my daughters aids by spending time with her as often as I can & being able to give her aids a little break whenever I can! I never dreamed that I would miss caring for her on a day to day basis this much! The main thing is My daughter has her independence back, she has only been a quadriplegic for 6 yrs & she’s healthy & happy! I’m also getting the much needed medical care I need!

    Reply
  12. My situation is a little different, I had to give up caring for my soon to be 50 year old quadriplegic daughter. I’m soon to be 67 & my doctors will no longer allow me to be a caregiver to her. We were fortunate enough to be able to provide her with her own home & 24hr care! She has great aids, but miss caring for her very much! I thought I would be able to jump back into my old life & go about life as back to usual! Not so, once a caregiver always a caregiver. We either have it in our DNA or we don’t . I now enjoy helping my daughters aids by spending time with her as often as I can & being able to give her aids a little break whenever I can! I never dreamed that I would miss caring for her on a day to day basis this much! The main thing is My daughter has her independence back, she has only been a quadriplegic for 6 yrs & she’s healthy & happy! I’m also getting the much needed medical care I need!

    Reply

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