Who is a caregiver?

Nearly 1/3 of Americans serve as family caregivers and millions more serve as paid professional caregivers. The Caregiver Space is sharing their stories.

Todd M.

Who are you caring for? What is their condition?

I care for my wife, Marie. She has Secondary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis. I, too, have relapsing remitting MS, fibromyalgia, and deal with my PTSD.

Besides “caregiver,” what other identities do you have? (ex. Parent, gardener, manager, dog-lover)

Step dad, but her kids are all in their early 20’s and live in the North East, while we’re out West. I only talk with two of my step kids, as the others just don’t care what shape there mother is in anymore. I was a caterer, restaurant consultant, and chef before my wife got bad. I also own a small business where we sell her crochet products and knitting projects to make a little more cash – but I also pay sales tax to the state.

What do you wish you were told before you became a caregiver?

Nothing, really. I knew this was coming, I just didn’t think it would be this soon. I took care of others professionally in my early 20’s.

What’s been the hardest part of caregiving for you? What’s the most rewarding part of caregiving?

The hardest part was having to take the frame off of the bed so I could get her into bed easier. It’s harder for me to get out of bed, as I’m 6ft 2in, but she is only 5ft 1in. We can’t afford a PAL or Hoyer yet or an adjustable bed that can lower to the floor.

We have more of a personal connection now than before. We have gone thru hell and back a few times with me having heart failure in 2013, but we kept her out of a nursing home.

What’s the best tool or strategy you’ve found to help you with caregiving?

We have strong Bible friends and prayer we pray a few times a day. Our pastors drop by to pray with us and help me with items I can’t do by myself. Also the internet and Facebook groups that I run now. My wife can’t handle the day in and outs of the groups she started back in 2009.

In ten words or less, what has caregiving taught you?

To be patient with my wife knowing one day I will be in same boat

Want to connect with Todd?

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