After that night, it was clear that while I was taking care of certain tasks, I had no idea how to really help. Books on caregiving don’t really prepare you for moments like this. Yes, they have information but how you individually react to the experience, that’s all on you.
I realized I had to check many preconceived ideas on how to tackle problems. Because this was not a single problem. This was life, and suffering is part of life.
Slowly, I learned to be vulnerable, to appreciate outside help and to listen — I mean to really listen to what my wife was saying and to let her lead me where she wanted to go.
Your Suffering (Probably) Comes From This False Belief
I was trying to influence a situation outside my control by staying awake. I could not prevent my wife’s heart from suddenly stopping in the night....