30-something black woman laying in bed during the day, stewing in sadness, feeling her feelings instead of fighting them

When I am physically sick, and when I am mentally sick, I push myself to my absolute limit.

Productivity, I believe, is a cure for my illness.

I showed up to that first appointment with Kara extremely lethargic and sluggish, but I was smug, too. I thought, she’s going to tell me to do, do, do, more, more, more, and I’m going to tell you that I have already done, done, done, a lot, a lot, a lot. And I will win at therapy.

Isn’t the whole point of therapy to find coping mechanisms to stave off the depression? Yes, Kara assured me, at least in part. But the point of coping mechanisms is definitely not to pretend you’re not sad by keeping yourself busy enough to forget it.

Read more in Elemental on Medium.

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