Tell us about yourself

I’m a 46 year old female who worked as a former secretary. I moved from Florida back to South Carolina as my parents started aging, eventually, I had to move in with them. I did have the opportunity to take an online medical transcription course and work briefly. I have a brother who lives in Orlando and is supportive and helps as he is able to.

Besides “caregiver,” what other identities do you have? (ex. Parent, gardener, manager, dog-lover)

I’m a avid antique doll collector, cross stitch, read and enjoy baking. I also have a very sweet cat who is 15 years old.

Who had the biggest impact on shaping who you are today?

My mother, aunt, and a good friend. They were and are positive influences and understanding.

What’s a personality trait you have that you really value?

Compassion is an admirable trait also in others as some people are not so understanding in some situations.

What’s your mantra?

Not sure, maybe be grateful for the friends and family that actually care and things in your life that make it worthwhile.

Who are you caring for? What is your caregiving story?

When our caregiving journey first began, it was pleasant and pretty cool. Started commuting from my apartment visiting both of my folks helping with bringing dinner and doing laundry, etc. One day at work, I got a phone call saying my mom needed emergency surgery and eventually ended up having to leave work permanently. Her health condition declined off and on from then on for several years. I ended up moving back in with them to help more. My dad and mom did okay for a while but he had also had heart attack, etc. So, it took both of us as she eventually ended up in a wheelchair and bedridden. We could not have done it without home health, their doctors, and staff. Even nursing facilities and hospitals were helpful for advice on taking care of both of them. It was also encouraging as was taking a medical transcription course. Think the hardest thing was when we had to get hospice for Mom and things kind of went downhill from there. Just thought she was going to be around for a little longer. As good to her as they were, it was uncomfortable but better for her to be home. I am grateful to still have my dad, although, he is aging, a little Alzheimer’s and has a walker now. For 88 years old, is not bad. Have a brother who is a long distance caregiver, but at least have some moral support. Although, it is a little stressful, I am hoping others can hang in there as there is a lot more online resources available for those in rural areas. Sometimes we can even find friends or neighbors that have the same in common.

What was your greatest caregiving lesson?

Learning to not be so selfish as our loved ones are not around forever.

What do you wish you were told before you became a caregiver?

It is a commitment that you need to make sure you are prepared to stick with for however long it takes.

What advice would you give to other caregivers?

It is emotional and there are situations that you will not prepared to deal with, but have to hang in there.

What’s your best piece of advice for life in general?

Try to make the best of it, especially if you still have your health, family, and a few friends.

What’s been the hardest part of caregiving for you?

It kind of stressful and not easy seeing parents age, kind of losing touch with and not seeing friends.

What’s the most rewarding part of caregiving?

Being able to do something that actually matters and helps other people.

What’s the first thing you do in the morning?

Take a few minutes to wake up and adjust my mood for the day.

What’s the last thing you do at night?

Unwind by taking some time to relax.

What keeps you up at night?

Stress over health concerns among other things.

What motivates you?

Nice and friendly people that actually care as you can learn from them.

What’s the best tool or strategy you’ve found to help you with caregiving?

Respect their feelings.

In ten words or less, what has caregiving taught you?

Patience, responsibility,and how to deal difficult situations with respect for the feelings of the ones you are caring for.

What’s your best habit?

Do the best you can do.

What do you do when you have 15 minutes of free time?

Read, cross-stitch, keep in touch with friends or family or watch TV.

What do you think makes a life well lived?

Try to make the best out of whatever situation life hands you.

What question do you hope an interviewer would ask?

If you had something you would change in your caregiving experience what would it be?

It would probably be not having so many health issues that are somewhat preventing me from providing better care for my dad. It just doesn’t seem fair, he deserves to receive care just as good as my mother received but at least he is nice enough not to complain.

If you had something you would change in your caregiving experience what would it be?

Maybe not having the physical challenges that developed in the process of this journey as it effects the quality of care you are able to give.