Do you feel like you’re doing the best you can, all the time?
No matter how hard I try, it gets to me sometimes. Love alone isn’t enough for me to not lose my cool. Maybe it should be. Maybe it is for you. (is it?). But the pressure mounts…the bills are piling up, insurance is denying pre-approved claims, the laundry, the dishes, meals to be cooked, lunches to be packed, the mortgage is late. My boss is losing patience with how distracted I am and how I’m always late.
Sometimes I lose my cool. I yell. Or I just get that tone in my voice that shows how annoyed I am. And then I feel so guilty.
So guilty and so tired. I’m just so tired all the time.
It helps to hear how other caregivers feel this way, too. That maybe it’s not great, not okay, but understandable for me to not be as good as I want to be all the time.
“you’re doing the best you can, under difficult circumstances. Try not to be so hard on yourself, okay?” Denise M. G.
“forgive yourself, for not being able to do the impossible and for your very normal feelings. Those are feelings of frustration and they do not lessen the love you have for your parents…I had assumed I had to caregive alone, but then I found that there had been people I could call on for help all along. I should have spoken up.” – Nancy L.
“The hard truth is you can only do as much as you can do. It is terribly hard for us to accept that we cant fix it or do more more more. The best and most that we can do for those we love and care for is to love them and do what we can within reasonable parameters. You are giving them all that you can and you love them you have to accept that.” – Barbara F.
“We all lose it from time to time. Whoever says they don’t probably doesn’t even know they did. Yes, Forgive yourself and move on. Longterm Caregiving is the hardest thing ever to do.” Diane L.B.
“Forgive yourself…..it happens to all of us more than we would like others to know! Being tired and stressed gets to the best of us and few among us are saints…we all do the best we can and just keep going!” – Micki T.
How do you keep your cool? And how do you forgive yourself when you lose it?