What I learned about aging in place

 

Making modifications to the home can help your loved ones age in place, a goal of an increasing amount of families. There are plenty of resources online that offer checklists and other pieces of advice that cover the most common modifications. With hindsight being 20/20, here are the aging in place challenges I encountered when caring for my parents.

Don’t wait until there’s a family health crisis

I waited until my parents had major health issues before seriously considering their home situation, and how it complicated aging in place possibilities. If I could do it over, I would try to gently steer my parents into a more suitable retirement location. I think my parents could have thrived in a continuing care retirement community, or something similar. My parents maintained their independence well into their 70s, but then the health issues came in a fell swoop.

Aging in place is not just about home, but about community

Ruidoso, New Mexico is a lovely mountain town with genuinely nice, helpful people. My parents enjoyed their retirement there, until they became ill. Here are some things to keep in mind when your parents or other aging loved ones announce a retirement move:

  • Local transportation options: Ruidoso gets snow, and some of the winding roads can be tricky to navigate. My parents’ condo was also atop a moderate hill. My dad was not a confident driver and had never driven on snow before. This meant my parents were stranded for days sometimes if a big snow fell. On the other hand, the town offered a reasonable door-to-door shuttle service for seniors. This helped my parents maintain their independence. Keep in mind that your loved one will likely not be able to drive forever and getting rides from friends and family is not always convenient.
  • Is there access to quality medical services? This is so important, and had a tremendous impact on my parents’ final years. Smaller, rural towns may struggle to attract enough quality healthcare providers. This can lead to long waits for appointments, overworked doctors and delayed or incorrect diagnoses. More advanced diagnostic tools like PET scans may not be available locally and will require lengthy travel to have performed. Home care can be woefully overstrained, and access to nursing homes and memory care centers may be extremely limited or non-existent.
  • Social engagement benefits: My parents were friendly, but kept to themselves, so they didn’t have a social network to fall back on when needed. Gauge your loved one’s community engagement in things like church, volunteer groups, and neighborhood associations, as it can facilitate help with rides to doctor’s appointments, shopping, etc. Friendly neighbors can watch out for each other and create a safety net for someone in declining health. Don’t overlook these valuable resources, and make sure that if you take advantage of them, to give something in return.
  • Convenient for family members to visit? Encourage retirement options that offer reasonable access to an airport. To get to Ruidoso from Atlanta, I had to take two planes and an hour-and-a-half car ride, or one long plane trip and a 3-hour car ride. Neither of those options are convenient or cheap, and with the time changes, just traveling to and from my parents’ condo is an all-day affair. As a long-distance caregiver, you’ll find the need to make more frequent check-up visits and you don’t want to be wiped out before you even arrive.

About those home modifications

  • Falls are a big deal: If you feel overwhelmed in making aging in place modifications, start with reducing fall risk. These modifications can be as simple as adding sturdy grab bars in bathrooms and removing throw rugs and other common trip sources from the home. Proper lighting is also important, as is making sure commonly-used items are easily accessible without getting on a step stool. In Mom’s condo, I installed grab bars and a shower bench in the bathroom. Consider getting a fall alert system. There are different companies that offer monitoring services, so research to see which ones are available in your area.  I         found the service was reliable and effective, and worth the monthly fee. If you are a long-distance caregiver, getting a system like this can give you a bit of peace of mind.
  • Reverse kid-proofing: Think safety above all else, whether it comes to labeling things in clear, large print or securing items that could prove dangerous, like medications and stove burners. This is especially true when modifying the home for someone with dementia. My dad “ran away” multiple times from the condo, and that could have been prevented if we’d installed special locks and other deterrents. GPS-based locator tools can track a loved one with dementia who goes missing.
  • Don’t forget maintenance tasks: I had an embarrassing realization recently. While taking care of my mother, I never changed the furnace filter. Likely years went by without it being changed. Yet in all that time, I never forgot to change the filter in my own home. Caregiving can give you tunnel vision; set up reminders or hire a local company to handle such tasks. The water heater at my parents’ condo is in an unbelievably tricky location under the house that requires one to crawl through a space several feet off the ground. The circuit breaker is located in the back of a storage room outside the condo, which has proven difficult to open. Ideally, these things would be easy to access for maintenance and in case of emergency.
  • The home’s exterior matters: My father was not allowed to return home from the skilled nursing facility after major surgery because of the stairs. He never saw home again, as he was placed in a memory care center. Dad lost the ability to walk and the condo had a dozen steps to the front door and wooded, uneven ground that led to the back door, with three steps. A paved path around back may have been possible, but it would’ve had to go through the home owners’ association and Dad was rapidly declining. My mother also was wheelchair-bound after a surgery with lengthy complications. With two months of rehab, she could walk on her own again, and this made a huge difference in her being able to return home. Her condo was small and a walker would have been difficult to navigate the narrow hallways and bathroom. Make sure the paths to the mailbox, garden and any other often-used outdoor areas are safe to access. Aging in place modifications should make the home safe, comfortable and enjoyable for many years to come.

What are your tips on making the home safer as we age? Share your ideas below.

Photo: Psymily/Morguefile

Written by Joy Johnston
Joy Johnston is an Atlanta-based digital journalist who began The Memories Project blog in 2012 after her father died of Alzheimer’s. Her essays have appeared in best-selling anthologies, including Chicken Soup for the Soul: Living with Alzheimer’s & Other Dementias.

Related Articles

Popular categories

Finances
Burnout
After Caregiving
Housing
Relationships
Finding Meaning
Planning
Dying
Finding Support
Work
Grief

Don't see what you're looking for? Search the library

Share your thoughts

1 Comment

  1. My mom, who’s retired and in perfect health, recently bought a house where her bedroom is at the top of a steep flight of stairs and doesn’t have a bathroom on the same level. It’s in a lovely neighborhood, but the neighborhood is surrounded by two highways and a lake, which seems like it’ll be increasingly treacherous to navigate as she gets older. It gives me much angst, although she thinks I’m being silly.

    Meanwhile, my grandmother resisted making any universal design modifications until she was too ill to make decisions on her own. She refused to add a shower to the downstairs bathroom — to the point where she had an outdoor shower set up in the backyard and had the kids use that! Her determination to die at home and her refusal to rearrange the downstairs to make it accessible was a horrible combination and now we’re all suffering for it.

    If you’re looking for a new home, most condos include at least basic universal design principles. My condo came with all the light switches and outlets at the right height for a wheelchair and other little details like that. I’m not a fan of the sliding doors, but they are great for creating flexible spaces and navigating with mobility aides. The bathroom would only require minor modifications and there are fully handicap accessible facilities in the building. Plus, it lacks all the maintenance of a house and a yard. Of course, few people are eager to move in the midst of a crisis, so any changes should be made far in advance of when you’d expect age to become an issue.

    Reply

Share your thoughts and experiences

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Join our communities

Whenever you want to talk, there’s always someone up in one of our Facebook communities.

These private Facebook groups are a space for support and encouragement — or getting it off your chest.

Join our newsletter

Thoughts on care work from Cori, our director, that hit your inbox each Monday morning (more-or-less).

There are no grand solutions, but there are countless little ways to make our lives better.

Share your insights

Caregivers have wisdom and experience to share. Researchers, product developers, and members of the media are eager to understand the nature of care work and make a difference.

We have a group specifically to connect you so we can bring about change.

%d bloggers like this: