Row of typical British terraced houses in south west London

I’ve been a carer since I was 12 years old. At the time I didn’t realise that was my role, because to me I was just looking after someone I cared about. I did it without being asked.

As a child, my role as a carer wasn’t actually looking after my mum. It was more about caring for my twin, younger sister and myself. We didn’t want to be a burden to mum, so we would take away daily pressures from her – like ironing our school uniforms; making our own meals and trying our best at school. I’ll never forget the fear of arriving home and wondering what type of mood mum was in. Why, you may ask? My mum has schizophrenia.

And it didn’t matter what we did to make mum’s life easier – the ending would often always be the same: hospital. One symptom of being schizophrenic is delusions, and mum’s fantasies (being pregnant, for example), would eventually push us to desperation and we’d have to call the police, or the ambulance. Still, we never thought our mum had a mental health disorder. We just thought she was prone to feeling down and behaving erratically and sometimes aggressively.

Mum wasn’t diagnosed until I was 18 and at university studying accounting and management That was also the time I fully understood that I had taken on the role as a carer from childhood, and spoke about my situation with someone other than my sisters.

Read more on Marie Claire.

This is an external article from our library

Everyone is talking about caregiving, but it can still be difficult to find meaningful information and real stories that go deep. We read (and listen to and watch and look at) the best content about caregiving and bring you a curated selection.

Have a great story about care work? Use our contact form to submit it to us so we can share it with the community!

Related Articles

With Flowers

With Flowers

I’ve tried to tell this story before. Let me try again. This time with flowers. My mother died on Mother’s Day. It’s nearly impossible for me to...

A Field Guide to the Abeyance of Loss

A Field Guide to the Abeyance of Loss

Claudia cannot choose the path her life is taking. Neuromyelitis optica directs her, making life smaller, confined to her hospital bed until someone...

Popular categories

Finances
Burnout
After Caregiving
Housing
Relationships
Finding Meaning
Planning
Dying
Finding Support
Work
Grief

Don't see what you're looking for? Search the library

Share your thoughts

0 Comments

Share your thoughts and experiences

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Join our communities

Whenever you want to talk, there’s always someone up in one of our Facebook communities.

These private Facebook groups are a space for support and encouragement — or getting it off your chest.

Join our newsletter

Thoughts on care work from Cori, our director, that hit your inbox each Monday morning (more-or-less).

There are no grand solutions, but there are countless little ways to make our lives better.

Share your insights

Caregivers have wisdom and experience to share. Researchers, product developers, and members of the media are eager to understand the nature of care work and make a difference.

We have a group specifically to connect you so we can bring about change.