I moved in with my parents in Massachusetts in 2020, when I got laid off from my job and it became clear that they needed live-in help. Without me, they’d need to be in a nursing home. My dad has dementia, and my mom is on oxygen. It seems likely that she has dementia now too. For the past several winters, at least one of them has gotten sick and wound up in the ICU. There’s going to be a winter when one of them doesn’t come home.

Because my parents require full-time care, I haven’t gotten a new job and I don’t have any income. I’m behind on my student-loan payments and my taxes. My credit score used to be in the 700s, but now it’s terrible — in the 500s. I’m thinking of filing for bankruptcy, but it’s unclear how much that would actually help with these issues.

My parents do not have a will or an estate plan, and at this point, I doubt they are well enough to make one. I want to care for them as long as I can, but I also need to start to consider what this will mean for my finances long term. My main hope is that I heard about a Massachusetts law that says if you’ve lived with your parents for two or more years and you can prove that you’ve lost wages to care for them and that they would have gone into a nursing home without you, the government will let you have their house when they pass away. I think that would apply to me. I have siblings who might fight me for the house, but my parents did not make another plan for it so this is the only way I see it being protected from being taken over by the state to pay for my parents’ medical bills after they’re gone.

Read more on The Cut.

Written by External Article
Everyone is talking about caregiving, but it can still be difficult to find meaningful information and real stories that go deep. We read (and listen to and watch and look at) the best content about caregiving and bring you a curated selection. Have a great story about caregiving? Use our contact form to submit it to us so we can share it with the community!

Related Articles

The Partner Who Dies First, Wins

The Partner Who Dies First, Wins

Herb is my best friend, 83, a humor writer who’s had slow-moving Parkinsons for ten years. When I had breast, then ovarian, cancer over thirty years...

Popular categories

After Caregiving
Finding Meaning
Finding Support

Don't see what you're looking for? Search the library

Share your thoughts


Share your thoughts and experiences

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Join our communities

Whenever you want to talk, there’s always someone up in one of our Facebook communities.

These private Facebook groups are a space for support and encouragement — or getting it off your chest.

Join our newsletter

Thoughts on care work from Cori, our director, that hit your inbox each Monday morning (more-or-less).

There are no grand solutions, but there are countless little ways to make our lives better.

Share your insights

Caregivers have wisdom and experience to share. Researchers, product developers, and members of the media are eager to understand the nature of care work and make a difference.

We have a group specifically to connect you so we can bring about change.