“Sometimes, supporting your partner goes beyond trying to immediately “fix” their problems. Instead, reflecting on why you want to help, evaluating if you have the capacity and knowledge to do so, and asking how they actually want to be shown support can all be ways of easing the pain you’re both feeling…While our intentions might be in the right place, we all have different ways we need care when we’re hurting. “The way we may want to support them and the way we can actually support them can feel misaligned,” Monroe says.

This can feel disempowering at times, as many of us have been taught that caretaking and self-sacrifice are the best ways to show and earn love. However, this can place an unfair burden on both yourself and your partner.”

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