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Moderator Guidelines

moderation guidelines for the caregiver space

Thank you for supporting the community by lending your ear, your time, and your experience!

The ultimate goal is to keep this a space where people can freely share their experience and get support.

There will always be more posts in the queue, new member requests, and more comments. You do not need to login to Facebook just to help moderate. It’s always okay to be busy, need a break, or just not be in the mood to moderate.


Deciding whether or not to approve a post

We require posts to be approved to keep our community safe from advertising and spam. You can always refer to our community guidelines. Most posts are clearly okay or not okay, but sometimes it’s less clear-cut.

When you’re not sure, ask yourself:


If someone who is grieving submits a post telling current caregivers to be grateful for every moment, please delete the comment and direct them to the After Caregiving group.

While we want to support research into care work, our private groups are a place for conversations about care work. Researchers are welcome to participate in our community as individuals, just as we welcome anyone else who has experience providing care, but not to use information from the groups in their work or recruit research participants.

Please go ahead and delete: job posts, disease awareness posts, fundraisers, local events, advertising and research requests.


Being the first to comment

One of the perks to manually approving posts is that moderators always have the opportunity to be the first to comment. The first comment a post get often sets the tone. When you’re concerned that a post might stir up controversy or debate, starting off the thread with a supportive comment can do wonders.


When moderating comments

We don’t actively monitor every comment, but as active members of the group we read many of the comments.

Other members can flag a comment for moderator review and we set up keyword alerts to help us catch comments that may be unkind or spam. Please let us know if you think of a keyword alert that would be helpful.


While every caregiver is entitled to share their own experience (however negative), you may occasionally encounter caregivers who are overtly aggressive or inappropriate (violent or sexually explicit language, spam) in what they share. You can:

You might want to share the community guidelines with a member. However, we all respond more favorably to people who express concern and empathy rather than chiding us for breaking the rules. Everyone is here because we’re looking for support and community. People aren’t “toxic” or “trolls,” look for the person behind the problematic behavior. Many people respond well when we reach out and connect with them and set boundaries. If they don’t, we can remove them from the group.


Deciding whether or not to approve a request for membership

It’s hard to predict who’s going to try to spam our group or stir up trouble!


Appropriate Language Use

It’s perfectly acceptable for caregivers to use strong language or curse to express how they’re feeling. It is not acceptable to direct any swears at any other members (including you, the moderator).

Sex acts and sexual information comes up, especially in the spousal care group. Sex is a part of the human experience and we want to keep this a safe space to discuss how the caregiver role, disability, stress, etc. change our sex lives.

Sex acts also come up regularly when discussing people with various cognitive impairments. We encourage discussions on how to manage inappropriate sexual behavior by the people we care for. We also encourage discussions on how to ensure people who need care have their full humanity respected, including their sexuality. These are complex and challenging conversations and they’re important.

Trust your judgement. When someone joins the group and immediately starts posting spam or being unkind, it’s easy to decide to remove them. When an active member posts something unkind or questionable, you may know they’re just having a bad day and don’t need anyone to explain the guidelines to them.


Posts to delete and potentially reach out to the member or remove them

“Get the f*** out of my face, I don’t need your advice!”
“Everyone is so stupid here! Why doesn’t anyone f***ing care about what I’m saying?!”

Posts to delete and remove the member

“New handbags direct from warehouse, save 20-50% Click here!”
“Apply now for caregiver jobs!”


Responding to dire circumstances

If someone posts or comments about ending their lives, harming themselves, or harming someone else, it’s not your job to fix the situation. Please encourage the poster to reach out to an organization that can provide them with immediate support.

A sample message to use: “_______, it sounds like you’re really overwhelmed with what’s on your plate and I want you to know that I care about your well being. I imagine talking to someone right now would do a world of good. Would you consider calling a hotline? (800) 273-8255”

You may or may not know where the member is located. Unfortunately, every country has a different crisis hotline:

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