I am purely venting here because I have to. I have been taking care of my mom now for about 5 yrs. She will be 88 yrs. old in July and has many mental issues along with Dementia. Since my husband passed away I have to do this alone. I have no help with her and I work full time. She does attend an adult daycare during the day while I’m at work. They used to be open on Saturdays and now have stopped Saturday care. That leaves me with 4 hrs. on Friday to get everything done that takes travel because I can’t take her with me. So, during the week we are home every night and on the weekends… well, we are stuck in the house.
I can’t take her out to eat because I never know what she’s going to do. She doesn’t chew her food so everything has to be mechanically altered as they say… in other words, mush! She has panic attacks every so often and the one time while we were in the care on the way home from work she decided she was going to undo her seatbelt and open the door while we were moving. That was something new, she’d never done anything like that before and I had her in the front seat of the vehicle so I couldn’t stop her from unlocking the door. She did it twice before we got home. So, now I have to look at her state of mind before choosing front or back seat. I’ve said this many times — I feel like a prisoner in my own home.
Now Memorial Day weekend is upon us and you know what? Everyone in my office is looking forward to the LONG weekend. Me, I’m petrified! To think about being trapped in the house for three looooonnnng days with no where to go and nothing to do… you can imagine how I feel if any of you have a situation like mine. I just wish I could fall asleep on Friday night and wake up on Tuesday morning… that is the honest to God truth. We can’t afford a nursing home, but that’s what she needs. Medicaid denied her, which I’ve heard they always do the first go round. DHHS is so awful, they asked for things they already had and made it extremely difficult to get everything I needed to help her qualify. So, now I have to go through the entire process again while still working full time and taking care of mom.
Anyway, that’s the story… I hope someone reading this maybe won’t feel like they have it so bad. There is always someone who has it worse. Although, I can’t imagine this situation being any worse because mentally I’m wearing very thin… eventually my physical health will pay if things don’t lighten up here.
Thank you for letting me share.
DF, North Carolina