Sometimes it’s just one thing after another, for months and then years. How do you make it through?
In October, I lost my grandma. She had parkinson’s and dementia and had slowly been deteriorating for the last five to seven years. When she passed, I was mostly relieved because she had been struggling for so long. Being trapped in your body with no control of your limbs and most of your mind gone is no way to live. She had a lot of anxiety that was likely from confusion, she would look you so hard in the eyes and all you could see was fear, but she couldn’t express what was wrong. Once we started to go through photos for the memorial, I got to see the woman that I had forgotten. The grandma who I loved so dearly was not the same person I had been visiting for the last few years. My memories of her had been covered up by the illness and it took some for me to process and uncover the old memories in place of the really sad sick ones.
Then, exactly a week after my grandma passed, I started to get these really intense pains.
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