Dead is dead: Euphemism and the power of words
we push up daises, we kick the bucket, but no one dies.

Words matter

The list goes on and on about things that we don’t want to talk about — death is at the top of that list. We talk around it instead of about it. No amount of language or magical thinking will bring people back. It doesn’t give power to death to speak its name. Sugar-coating death doesn’t make it easier, but it can make it harder.

Written by Phyllis Sommer
Rabbi Phyllis Sommer has served Am Shalom as Associate Rabbi since 2003. She is a native of Wisconsin and attended the University of Wisconsin in Madison. She was ordained at the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in 2003, and in addition to Am Shalom has served congregations in New Iberia, Louisiana and Billings, Montana. Rabbi Phyllis and her husband, Rabbi Michael Sommer, are the proud and loving (if sometimes harried) parents of four amazing children - David, Samuel Asher z"l, sister Yael, and baby Solly. Rabbi Phyllis Sommer blogs at Ima on and off the Bima, where she discusses ins-and-outs of balancing her life as Rabbi, wife, and mother. After her son, Sam, was diagnosed with leukemia, she began blogging at Superman Sam. The Huffington Post named her one of their Influential Jewish Twitter users in 2011. She started the #36Rabbis to raise money for childhood cancer and #whatrabbisdo to shed life on the real roles and responsibilities of today's rabbis.

Related Articles

Being a Human Being

Being a Human Being

"Many of us are programmed to take action. We want to fix. We want to solve. And we take pride in fixing and solving. But sometimes there is nothing...

Popular categories

Finances
Burnout
After Caregiving
Housing
Relationships
Finding Meaning
Planning
Dying
Finding Support
Work
Grief

Don't see what you're looking for? Search the library

Share your thoughts

0 Comments

Share your thoughts and experiences

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Join our communities

Whenever you want to talk, there’s always someone up in one of our Facebook communities.

These private Facebook groups are a space for support and encouragement — or getting it off your chest.

Join our newsletter

Thoughts on care work from Cori, our director, that hit your inbox each Monday morning (more-or-less).

There are no grand solutions, but there are countless little ways to make our lives better.

Share your insights

Caregivers have wisdom and experience to share. Researchers, product developers, and members of the media are eager to understand the nature of care work and make a difference.

We have a group specifically to connect you so we can bring about change.