CareCards: Daily Inspiration and Motivation for Caregivers

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  1. I have been a caregiver for my very elderly Mother for nearly 10 years, and have been badly thrown under the bus, slandered, libeled, etc. by greedy vultures who really badly want her property. She is now in a rest home (not of my choice, and I tried to stop it). It has gotten so bad that I have had to take certain folks to court because of how these certain people attempted to take over with lies and deception, and ultimately, they have utilized her suffering and pain for purposes of their financial and personal agenda. I am almost 50, and those who have stabbed my Mother (and me) in the back are real-estate investment venturists who are (in my opinion, and in my guess) deeply in debt, and they want to take more property that they are undeserving of, and I have been in overtime mode to stop these attempts, but lawyers do cost so much, and it’s so difficult to find the right lawyer to stop plans that are deceptive. This is NOT what my Mother intended, but she knew that it would get bad. Thus far (and of course, knock knock on wood), I have prevailed at stopping the deception by going to court and having that court utilize longstanding precedent to tell the vultures that their plan and their agenda is “highly suspect.”

    I pray for all caregivers, particularly those who are going through this kind of predicament. BTW, I don’t get the option of “clocking in/out” or leaving “two weeks notice”, my position is personal, and I also answer the phone willingly at 3am and go there to visit her more than several times/day. I’m on full disability, and moved to the state where she was relocated to for the purpose of caring for her, otherwise she would just be alone, and I promised her that I would NEVER throw her away, and I intend to KEEP that promise. She is in an assisted living facility because of her greedy daughters. Oh, one other thing… She is “CONVINCED” that her greedy daughters do NOT love her anymore, but she warned me prior to this that they would launch an attack, and GOOD LORD, DID THEY EVER. This was an attack that I almost didn’t survive, but awesome friends on my side kept me going.

  2. Kathy I’m so sorry for your loss,you can talk to me when ever you feel the need,my heart is open to you,great job,our lives are better for the ones we were chosen to help.

  3. I am a caregiver,I took care of my mom and brother for 14years then my mom passed,at the same time I was famine care of a beautiful couple with him 8years about,and then she asked me to stay on with her great time with her 16of the best years,in between that my son became I’ll and I took care of him until he passed 8 days after my mom and my little lady and her family were there for me also,she has just passed,I sat down and took a deep breath and to reflect,I miss them all so much but also,now what!!!!!I feel lost,I’m 68 years I can’t retire I need to work,so how do I get through all this?

  4. I and my sisters took care of mom with Alzheimer’s for about 7 years. I can’t even comprehend how anyone does it alone! She passed away at 94 about a year ago. Miss her every day. You become so bonded during that time that even after they pass it takes a long time to feel “normal” again.

  5. I have been the caretaker for both my mom and dad for several years now. My mom has Alzheimer’s and my dad has heart and pulmonary issues, he is in very bad shape. I have two sisters, one doesn’t help and the other one has a family and health problems of her own. She does help when she can. I feel very blessed to still have my parents, as most of my friends no longer have either parent. I am tired and stressed, I have run large businesses and the stress of that doesn’t compare to this stress. I am 53 years old and left my job a couple of years ago to care for my parents full-time. I am living off my savings and will be able to do so a few more years. Eventually I will need to go back to work, I am wondering how other caretakers are financially supporting themselves? I think the thought of my own financial future is what is stressing me more than anything else right now.

  6. There is a clear accomplishment that comes when you help carry someone to the spirit world. Privileged to have a front seat to a life well lived . Rest, Rest, Rest, when you get the chance. My mother passed 2 years ago, it was a long journey a lot of times alone taking care of her. Now I must care for my husband, Bob! Hard work…I always try to have a smile on my face!

  7. My mom died on last Thursday.

  8. I am very ill with late stage Lyme. I see so many MEME’s and articles about how people just don’t think of the needs of those of us that are sick and there are a lot of rules about what can be said to us and done around us. I reeks of a big giant chip on the collective shoulder of the chronically ill.
    How often do they think of those that care for us, no matter how small the gesture or deed, and the sacrifices that they make for us? I never see posts about how painful, scary, tiring and endlessly stressful it is for those who care for us.
    I lay in bed tonight with an awfully scary air hunger attack and my husband went pale with terror. It terrifies him to see me like that. It does wonders for those that are sick to stop feeling so sorry for ourselves and look at the kindness and good around us and just say “I love you so much and thank you for taken care of me.”

  9. Took care of my disabled father until recently. Limited to no help from a sibling. All on me so I know and feel for all of you. Alone, overwhelmed and exhausted. Common story I hear from other caregivers and that was certainly me. …what was of real help was home health services here in Washington state. Medicare paid for it. Doctor had to prescribed. Home health provided 2-3 times weekly nurses, phys and occupational therapists, bathing aide, and social service staff if needed. Helped get through some rough spots. Now I have helped others with what I learned. Helped me to help others although I was the one who needed the help. An outlet, I guess. Know what you are doing is an honorable and respectable thing. Best wishes to all undertaking the caregiver role.

  10. My mother had a brain tumor. I took care of her by myself for 5 years, 24/7. I had to bathe her, change her, feed her, turn her in bed to avoid bedsores. I read to her and sang for her. And all the while I felt I could go with her…I was stressed e and exhausted with no one to help or give me a break. I hope others can get help when the time comes….I can’t seem to get past the vigil of watch

  11. I was my mother’s care giver for 10 years before she passed. Now @ 68 I am on the receiving end by my wonderful son. Totally unexpected and rapidly approaching, I pray for people he can come to for comfort and support, he’s only 42 and so awesome. Thank you for this site.

    • I am going on 11 years caring for my 99 year old mom. I am going on 66 now. Sometimes I wonder if I will Ever be free. The dementia drives me crazy with the twisted and confusing conversations. It is so exhausting and emotional. That’s just as hard as the physical part. MAY GOD BLESS US ALL. And God bless your son.

      • God Bless you. I am in the same boat and have already cracked but came home for more. I have been taking care of my mother solo for over 10 years now and as caregiver above commented, the task can be mentally exhausting just answering questions that have already been asked just 2 minutes ago. Mother has Dementia and a number of other serious health issues. Brother and wife refuse to help out and just want to enjoy their own little retirement and immediate family. I am so tired that I tend to sleep whenever I can and that is in between helping mother. Does anyone else do this? God bless every caregiver out there.

      • Yes many people are left alone to care for their parents & loved ones. I didn’t get much help at all from 2 sisters caring for our mother. Both of them just wanted hand outs & control of what little money she had left but would barely help care for her. One sister actually fired mom’s caretaker during the day & quit her job, so SHE could sit on her a** and steal what she could from house & cook huge meals so she could take most of it home. How does someone do that & have a clear continence? This wasn’t about what’s best for mom, it was what would benefit herself. The 2nd sister lied to mom saying I bounced checks so she could get control of the checkbook, & started taking large sums of money out for herself. Those years of working all day then taking care of mom every night were so exhausting and the Fighting with the two sisters aged me so much.
        My friend had a simular experience with taking care of her mom & older disabled sister. She has 2 brothers that wouldn’t even visit while being only a couple miles away. Let alone help care for her. You never think it would happen in your family, but I hear about it all the time. Another friend is the only sibling that will take care of her mom. Even though Her mother is out of state. God bless you for being a great loving daughter who cares for her parent. It may be very tiring and hard but every minute you can be there is a blessing. I know because I’ve lost my parents many years ago & miss them each & every day.
        Hang in there & know that they are missing precious time that they can’t get back.

      • Wow Janice…My heart sinks when Mom says that she is going to live another 7 years… I don’t know if I can make it that long… I am 56 and feel like I have a lot of living to do, but can’t leave Mom, so I am a cross between Ripunsal and Cinderella. Uugghh

  12. Are Mental Health Technicians encluded?

  13. I need help. I’m overwhelmed and stressed to the max.

    • I can listen.

    • I was just thinking the same thing Kathy. If you ever need an understanding listener, I am here.


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