This is my 19th year of caregiving and I can hardly believe it. After a series of mini strokes my mother developed memory disease. I was her family caregiver for nine years. In 2007 my twin grandchildren’s parents died from the injuries they received in separate car...
Take care of yourself. We’ve all heard this advice. A short walk may be one way you care of yourself. You may bake a batch of cookies. Going to bed a half hour earlier may also be self-care. Or if you’re like me, you may sit down and read for pleasure. But knowing you...
Savor at least 15 minutes of quiet a day. Continue to write articles, books, and speak to groups. Listen to music when driving around town. Always have blooming plants in our home. Feed the birds regularly and observe them. Wear clothes that feel good and make me...
Whether it’s called self-compassion or self-kindness, the premise is the same: Treat yourself as kindly as you would treat others. This concept is especially important for family caregivers, who can get so caught up in daily tasks that they neglect themselves. To let...
Caregivers and care receivers may be about the same age. This is especially true if a wife is caring for her husband, or a husband is caring for his wife. While the caregiver is tending to the needs of another, she or he may develop their own health problems. You may...
Although I’m not a professional chef, I was a food writer for the original Rochester Magazine, (when it started years ago in my hometown of Rochester, Minnesota), learned basic and advanced cooking techniques, and created many original recipes. I’ve made airy...
I am my husband’s primary caregiver. Although a paid caregiver comes each morning to get him up, I’m the person on the job day and night. A while ago my husband was hospitalized for pneumonia and he spent three and a half days in the hospital. Shortly after he came...
In 2013 my husband John had severe chest pain. I drove him to the hospital emergency department. The diagnosis was aortic dissection. A retired physician, my husband made this diagnosis before he walked in the hospital door. He was bleeding to death and the health...
As a health writer and caregiver, I understand the importance of self-care. I’ve written articles about self-care and discussed it in book chapters. In recent days, however, I’ve been falling behind on self-care. There’s just too much to do. At bedtime I’m well aware...
My husband is disabled and I’m his primary caregiver. I can be gone for a short time, but limit that time to one and a half hours. While I’m gone I worry about my husband constantly. Is he warm enough? Did he change the position of his wheelchair every 30 minutes, as...
Caregiving is stressful. I’ve been a caregiver for more than 18 years and, as time passed, became more aware of stress. My husband (the caregiving recipient) thinks some of my stress is self-induced, but I don’t agree with him. From my perspective, stress is built...
Compassion fatigue is a weariness of body and spirit, caused by the never-ending demands of caregiving. This form of burnout can come on quickly, and before you know it, you feel like you’ve hit the wall. You may even wonder if you can continue to be a caregiver....
Two years ago my husband’s aorta dissected, and John had three emergency operations. During the last one he suffered a spinal stroke that paralyzed his legs. Dedicated therapists taught him to stand, stand and pivot, take a step, and go a short distance with the aid...
Caregiving is love in action. Caregiving makes us practice patience. Caregiving causes us to look inward. Caregiving links us with the past, present, and future. Caregiving makes us aware of the joy of giving. Caregiving leads us in new directions. Caregiving is a...
By itself, caregiving is a huge responsibility. Add the holiday rush and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Fatigue sets in and you wonder if you’ll make it through the season. These self-care steps will help you make it through the holidays and, most important, enjoy...
I’ve been a caregiver for more than 18 years: nine years as my mother’s caregiver, seven years as my twin grandchildren’s guardian/caregiver, and two years as my disabled husband’s caregiver. This experience has taught me that caregiving isn’t for wimps. We need...
I was my mother’s caregiver for nine years, my twin grandchildren’s guardian/caregiver for seven years, and am my disabled husband’s caregiver now. I’ve had this role for two years and there are more years to come. As time passed, I became aware of the losses...
Family caregivers face many challenges. “I wish I had a caregiver’s blueprint,” a friend said. She isn’t alone. Many new and experienced caregivers wish they had a blueprint to follow. You may have wished for one too. Blueprints contain measurements and users also...
I've been a family caregiver for three generations of family members, and am my disabled husband's caregiver now. My caregiving days begin early and often end late. It's a grueling schedule. The other evening, when I was feeling spent, Robert Frost's poem, "Stopping...
The term “new normal” is so common it’s become part of everyday conversation. You may have waited for a new normal to develop after you became a caregiver. But even with a daily routine, you may not feel like you have a new normal, and wonder why. What are the...
My husband is disabled and requires more assistance than some care receivers. More assistance means more requests. I’ve been his caregiver for two years and, as the months passed, realized I was being interrupted constantly. When I was doing laundry, or preparing...
Sleep experts recommend a bedtime routine - practices that get you to slow down, clear your mind, and prepare you for sleep. Before I became a caregiver I didn’t think about a bedtime routine very much. It was what it was. But becoming my mother’s caregiver, my twin...
Caregiving takes lots of energy. You need restful sleep in order to have this energy. That’s a given. But circumstances and worries may keep you from sleeping. Even if you go to bed early, you may toss and turn, keep looking your bedside clock, and worry if sleep will...
My husband is disabled and we bought a used wheelchair van. The van has worked out well, but wheelchair parking hasn’t. We were going out to dinner and drove by a day ahead of time to find the wheelchair parking spaces. When I pulled up to the parking spaces across...