From diagnosis to death, my dad’s journey was a callously swift nine months. A strange lump in his thigh turned out to be osteosarcoma, which then became the subject of aggressive chemotherapy and then - after metastasizing and spreading to his lungs - became...

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Beginner’s Guide: Launching a Working Family Caregiver Employee Resource Group
Caregiving doesn’t just happen during the work hours. In fact, as a sandwich-generation working family caregiver, I often had to use my time off for care, leave work unexpectedly, and make calls during the workday. Sometimes, my head wasn’t completely wrapped around...
The High-Wire Act of Caregiving and Saving for Retirement
Tara Driver would love to retire before age 70. But it’s not going to be easy. The 51-year-old’s finances are still recovering from the hit they took more than a decade ago, after she spent about eight years caring for her ailing father. During that time, every extra...
How Do I Support My Partner When They’re Depressed?
"Sometimes, supporting your partner goes beyond trying to immediately “fix” their problems. Instead, reflecting on why you want to help, evaluating if you have the capacity and knowledge to do so, and asking how they actually want to be shown support can all be ways...
You Shouldn’t Have to Take Care of Your Aging Parents on Your Own
"For most older Americans, care will come from unpaid family members or friends, who contributed around $600 billion worth of free labor to the economy in 2021, according to AARP. That care is not, of course, free for those providing it. Dwane Hodges is a 62-year-old...
A Huge Threat to the U.S. Budget Has Receded. And No One Is Sure Why.
Something strange has been happening in this giant federal program. Instead of growing and growing, as it always had before, spending per Medicare beneficiary has nearly leveled off over more than a decade. The trend can be a little hard to see because, as baby...
The Magic of the Granny Flat
Since around 2010, the city has been encouraging the development of such accessory dwelling units, or A.D.U.s — modest living spaces (800 square feet, tops) that share property with a main house. A.D.U.s, whether stand-alone or connected to the main house, are being...
What Happens when People with Dementia Commit Crimes?
"Rothman was charged with health-care fraud and health-care fraud conspiracy. He faced up to 20 years in prison. Four of the indicted defendants pleaded guilty, and four, including Rothman, chose to go to trial. Shortly before the jury was set to assemble, Rothman's...
The other work remote workers get done
"Carolyn Vigil has spent most of her career in Big Tech. She is also the primary caregiver for her 23-year-old autistic son, Jax. Managing these two roles has never been easy, and at various times over the years, Vigil has had to step back from her job for the sake of...
Love in the age of sickle cell disease
"There are not yet universal standards for genetic testing, but a narrow consensus has emerged around specific conditions. The first prenatal diagnosis for Down syndrome was made in 1968. Since then, screenings have become routine for pregnant women in many parts of...
The cost of living with a disability
On average, disabled households require 28% more income to obtain the same standard of living as non disabled households. Read more in Esquire.
For The First Time, Traditional Medicare Will Pay To Support Family Caregivers
"for the first time, Medicare will pay doctors and other providers to deliver critical support to the families of people with certain medical conditions. Medicare Advantage and other managed care models have been able to provide some of these supports. But for years,...
Something Better Than This
I've been under significant financial stress. My family has also been hit by a couple of major health crises. I'm in the midst of some serious ambiguous grief, mourning my mother, whose dementia has taken a sudden turn for the worse over the past couple of months. And...
Poor by Design: SSI Asset Caps
"If you receive SSI, you cannot accumulate more than $2,000 in assets, or $3,000 for couples. Though there is an exception for a home that you own and a vehicle, it’s extremely difficult for recipients to save the funds to acquire those things." ... “As a result of...
Live long and flounder: An aging expert on the looming crisis of our longer lifespans
"Vivek Murthy, the current Surgeon General, has talked a lot about loneliness and isolation, including of older people. But we don't talk about how alone caregivers are, too. There isn't the concrete support people need about how to how to provide care. For example,...
Children With Complex Medical Needs Belong at Home
Children belong at home with their families. For children with complex medical needs, this is still true. ... When children are dependent on medical technology — like ventilators, IV nutrition, feeding pumps and home dialysis — and require round-the-clock nursing...
The Vanishing Family
Susan, the third-born, volunteered to take care of Christy full time, and Jenny, the eighth, searched for a specialist (the family members asked to be identified by their first names to protect their privacy). Depression was the first suspected diagnosis, then...
The ‘grief window’ and other myths…
I’m 37-years-old now and I can see that was as impossible as raising my mum from the ground (or, more accurately, gathering up her ashes and gluing her whole again.) Would I go back and tell the younger version of myself to stop seeking a happiness she was never going...
Being a Human Being
"Many of us are programmed to take action. We want to fix. We want to solve. And we take pride in fixing and solving. But sometimes there is nothing to fix or solve." Read more on When Dementia Knocks.
No Amount of Time With You Would Be Enough
I didn’t know about Cystic Fibrosis really until my daughter Margaret was born with it in 2019. When she was diagnosed, they told us NOT to google it. That the treatments were changing and the future for M was unknown but extremely hopeful. ... This week, I invited...
Who Cares for Caregivers’ Families While They’re Caring for Us?
Even before COVID-19, turnover in the health care workforce was a concern. During the pandemic, the stress on health care workers, especially women, was profound. After COVID, substantial shares of workers reported burnout and said they were considering leaving the...
My Work as an In-Home Caregiver Shouldn’t Be This Hard
Back in 2006, I was working 80 hours a week in two jobs, and taking home about $60,000 a year. But then the Great Recession came, ending both jobs. I was on unemployment for a while. Then, my mother got Alzheimer’s. That was my introduction to IHSS. Many of the...
Staff Needs: The Spaces of Hospice
Hospice work suffers from the same historical undervaluing that plagues all home health labor, which has long been low-paying, often non-unionized, and relegated to women, working-class immigrants, and people of color.4 It is no coincidence that for-profit hospices...
On Self-Pity: Go Eat Worms
"My father-in-law’s mother was an elegant, strong-willed, opinionated woman who lived to almost one hundred. Once, in her nineties, Vivian came over for dinner, and we noted that she was looking well. “Don’t say that,” she said, and added in a tone I will never...