We griever's know just how difficult the holiday season can be. The season brings so many challenges with it. The loss of spirit can be staggering. Not jumping for joy when you get that special gift, not wanting to do a sing-song with the family, and perhaps the...
Some people are saying--if someone tells you to make sure you're taking care of yourself one more time, you're going to scream. Well, the fact is, newbie caregivers don't always know they're supposed to take care of themselves. They're so focused on their chronically...
Have you ever wondered what this world, namely our nation would look like if not for our veterans? The truth is, no one knows for sure. It's possible we could be speaking German or even Russian. And if we go further back in time it could be some other language. The...
Hi sweetie! It's been five years today since you went away. A thousand questions, and a million tears later I, still don't understand. You seemingly did everything right. Good diet, always exercising, and working towards good health. What the hell happened? Will I...
The calm before the storm October 31, 2010: Annie woke up this morning not feeling very well. All the anxiety around getting blood and platelet products the past week was taking its toll on her. But, as always, she found a way to bring out her beautiful smile and made...
If a Genie popped out of Aladdin's lamp and I had but one wish, I would not want fortune or fame, nor any of the luxuries life has to offer. My wish would be simple and from my heart. "In my lifetime, never again would I have to experience the loss of another loved...
Here's how it happens--- On a warm summer day a stranger came out of nowhere, knocked on their door, and immediately transformed their lives into a clash of two worlds. The stranger's name was blood cancer, full of chaos, evil, and the inhumane--versus love,...
It seems to me one of the more difficult subjects to talk about these days, is what happens after death. Is there such a thing as "Life After Death?" To many, the question posed is one of life's greatest mysteries. To others, it's all simply a load of rubbish--a fools...
When I was a youngster, I was walking by our local church one day and for whatever reason decided to have a rummage in the trash can. To my amazement I found an old Bible. I gathered it up, and ran to the pastors house. I knocked on the door and was greeted by the...
When Annie looked up at me from her hospital bed and said, "Please take me home--I don't want to die in the hospital." With those words, Annie reserved, and deserved the right to die at home. Annie had five core wishes when diagnosed with terminal cancer. One of which...
With "End of Life" care swirling around in news releases these days, and from all the information I've read, I was wondering how many of you actually know what end of life care is and "when it starts." It's a valid question, one that I don't think the literature or...
As a first time caregiver, and a person that was never around anyone that had cancer, being thrust into the position of caring for Annie on a full time basis was undoubtedly the most difficult thing I'd ever done or will do over my life time. I didn't know there was...
After the death, we enter the very new and complex world of grief. We're grievers! With the understanding that we all grieve differently, there is one thing for certain. Some, as was my case, will grieve much deeper than others. And therein lies a problem. Many of us...
When writing articles on grief, my focus is on two things. Me and You. I assume, which may or may not be true, that if you're reading this article you're likely suffering from a loss, or you're anticipating a loss. Either way, many of the effects and emotions can feel...
If you haven't read Hospice Party Part 1, perhaps you should, as this article, Hospice Party Part 2, will put the article in perspective and lead to an understanding and education for some. Let The Conversation Begin--End of Life Care I knew I was being a bit...
In the beginning when Annie was diagnosed with terminal cancer, I, like most people didn't know what to expect. Her diagnosis was so awful, it didn't leave much room for any good thoughts to flow into my imagination. But I now know the truth. Even when our journey was...
We hear and talk about grief, but it's usually intellectually savvy, always complicated, doesn't make much sense, and often difficult to understand. So I've decided to describe grief as a metaphor, using terms I know from my experience, that will probably ring true...
It is my hope that when you read this article you will understand just how powerful the love of a loving caregiver can be. Saving a life under such complex circumstances, with the outside forces working against you is a daunting task at best. The article will discuss...
In May of 2014 I was asked to be a guest speaker at the Mid American Chapter of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s Man and Woman of The Year Awards, Wichita, Kansas. The event was held in the Marriott Grand Ballroom. There would be 540 distinguished guests that paid...
Life happens It wasn't supposed to be this way. Annie and I were busy planning our future, and retirement. So full of promise, hope, and love. Then life played a dirty little trick on us. One day, out of the blue and with no warning, the phone rang in my office. It...
When you look at Annie's hospital bed, what do you see? I see colorful pillows, a colorful hot air balloon-fleece tied blanket-hand made by Annie, a colorful sheet, beauty, but most of all I see love, and feel a deep sadness and loneliness over the loss of my...
Precious Love: You were my love, my life, my hopes, my dreams, my everything--and now you are gone. "And Life Happens." As bad as losing a loved one may be, we still have our memories--our beautiful bitter sweet memories. No one can take them away from us, and I will...
Did you catch part 1? In part 2 you will witness Annie's strong will to survive against overwhelming odds. And hopefully you will be inspired in knowing that no matter how difficult the circumstances, you should never give up. Life is precious, and "it's not over...
In this short story, as Annie's loving husband and caregiver, I got caught between the ebb and flow of two different worlds...Wanting to do the right thing, and learning to let go. In life there are consequences for everything we do. This two part story will take you...