My mother has an undiagnosed mental illness that makes her incapable of accepting reality and that has caused her to be emotionally abusive my entire life...What options do my sister and I have as she ages and her living situation deteriorates further? And what obligations do we have toward her?

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I have a middle-aged sister who has struggled with a personality disorder since adolescence…I told my parents that I do not intend to support her when they are no longer able to or are no longer living, because she refuses to take any responsibility for herself or to comply with medical or mental health care plans. Now my parents are suggesting that I help with some of their expenses. But they would not need assistance if they were not dedicating a significant portion of their income to my sister’s support. How do I determine what my obligations here are? I have adolescent children to whom I also have obligations, like paying for college.

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